Car Thief Mom Has Worst Excuse Ever

The world feels more on edge than ever thanks to 24 hour news always letting us know the moment something terrible happens anywhere around the world. We’ve got a strange disease infecting thousands of people. Mad dictators are scooping up whole nations with the same level of glee as a kid reaching into his bag of Halloween candy. Tyler Perry is still making movies.  Things are weird.

There’s just so much upheaval and uncertainty right now that we should all give each other a little breathing room and some space in case one of us spazzes and does something crazy. However, there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed even during such tense times and one woman in Hurley, Mississippi crossed it.

Police caught Lisa Carol Roche, 41, of Hurley, Mississippi breaking into a bunch of cars in a high school parking lot. She had a bunch of stolen goods in her possession and when they asked why she did it, she claimed that she was looking for members of the Islamic terrorist group ISIS. It’s good to know the streets of rural Mississippi are protected by a heavily face tattooed mom.

Keeping America safe

Sure, ISIS has a lot to gain by taking over Baghdad and most of the Middle East’s oil reserves but the world would stop turning on its axis if it took over the town of Hurley, Mississippi and created a chokehold on the world’s supply of used tire fires and Calvin peeing on the Ford logo bumper stickers.

Her arresting officers didn’t buy her story and took her into custody where she received several charges including careless driving, embezzlement and burglary. Unless this is just some secret government plot that will allow her to root out members of ISIS for our nation’s minimum security prison system.