MMA Knockouts: Watch the Lights Go Out

blawsome by blawsome on Mar. 01, 2015

WHERE CAN I SEE THE BEST VIDEOS OF MMA KNOCKOUTS?

The sport of mixed martial arts is known almost universally for its unprecedented (in professional sports, anyway) brutality and violence in the ring. That means plenty of knockouts, even compared to sports like boxing, but a good KO is still a treat for MMA viewers. That means there’s an audience out there who wants to see the best videos of MMA knockouts out there, an audience that presumably includes you since you asked some variation of the question listed above. And to answer that question, I’m happy to say that the extensive Break library does contain plenty of MMA knockout videos, a few of which I’ll show you now. Here’s number one:

That video is titled Most Unexpected MMA Knockout Ever, which seemed a little bit odd to me at first. When we’re talking about mixed martial arts, how “unexpected” can a knockout really be? But then I actually watched the video, and I realized that not only is this knockout unexpected by the viewer, it seems to come as a surprise to the fighter that delivers it too! He does a kind of cartwheel move, perhaps inadvertently kicking his opponent in the jaw, and he goes out like a light. But as they say in other sports: A win is a win.

Not all MMA knockouts are unexpected, though. This next video shows a contest that ends in devastatingly quick fashion, and you don’t have to be a fight expert to see that the knockee is seriously lacking in defense. What people seem to forget is that skulls are fragile, delicate things, and if you get knocked in the head too hard you will drop out like Bill Gates from Harvard (warning: I’ve got a lot of space to fill today, so you’re going to see some tortured knockout metaphors. You’ve been warned). Here’s the video:

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY MMA KNOCKOUT VIDEOS INVOLVING WOMEN?

In the interest of gender equality, I’d be remiss if I didn’t include at least one video showing the female side of MMA. It’s actually quite similar to the male version of the sport, only with sports bras and maybe slightly more dreadlocks. And as you’ll see in the video below, it’s just as brutal and prone to quick knockout action as the more attention-getting male equivalent of the sport. Here it is:

Ouch.

HOW ABOUT SOME MMA KNOCKOUTS THAT ARE A LITTLE OFF THE BEATEN TRACK COMPARED TO WHAT I’M USED TO SEEING?

As evidenced by its viewing base that continues to grow, mixed martial arts is an exciting, eclectic sport that can give you lots of different flavors of competition under one roof. But that doesn’t mean that all of the MMA knockout videos available to us are of your typical UFC type fight. The following are a couple of videos that show people being knocked out in a mixed martial arts setting, but it’s not quite the same as the mainstream fights you’ve watched on TV recently.

First we have a video that’s promisingly titled Worst MMA Knockout Ever. I mean, how bad could it really be? Let’s find out together:

As I probably don’t have to tell you, the above video was taken in the bad old days of mixed martial arts, before the big budgets and mainstream promotions that define the sport today. That apparently also goes for the cinematography, which is so blurry and grainy that it looks like it was shot by Abraham Zapruder. And the knockout itself is pretty sloppy, and not as satisfying as a good swift kick to the head – but as with any other art form, if you don’t watch the mediocre MMA knockout videos, you’ll never fully appreciate the great ones.

But if you thought that video from the early days of MMA was lo-fi, wait until you see this next one. This knockout didn’t even take place in an arena before a paying audience, but instead in some guy’s living room. I’m sure any expert will tell you that trying to perform MMA action at home is a very bad idea, but that kind of thing never stopped some people from trying, and that includes the guy who got knocked out:

Oh man, right in the face. But I feel like I should repeat the disclaimer of those hypothetical experts I mentioned: Don’t do this. You’re basically risking serious head injury without even a short-term contract. That’s just bad financial sense!

DO YOU HAVE A GOOD MMA KNOCKOUT COMPILATION FOR US TO GO OUT WITH?

Mixed martial arts is a sport that was seemingly designed to be its own highlight reel, with fast-paced action and quick knockouts. So of course there’s going to be at least one good MMA knockout compilation in the extensive Break library. This one purports to include “the greatest knockouts in the history of the sport,” and it also has what I believe is a Rammstein soundtrack. Two great tastes that taste great together – enjoy:

I’ll say it one more time before I leave: DO NOT ATTEMPT.