Hey, meth-heads! Tired of having to use a glass pipe and blowtorch to get high off meth, then switch to candy to further rot the remaining teeth out of your head?
There’s got to be a better way! Folks, say hello to the meth lollipop!
You’re looking at (part of) a haul of what police estimate to be a cool mil in methamphetamine on a stick. Hey, can you imagine what a popular mall restaurant that would be?
Police in Harris County, Texas discovered 600 pounds of the stuff in a hatchback when responding to a report of a burglary. “They had so many narcotics in their vehicle they couldn’t close the back hatch of their car,” said Lt. Ruben Diaz. The sad irony here is that they were probably planning to sell some and buy an SUV.
According to the Facebook page of the Harris Country Sheriff’s Office, “the candy was intended to be distributed among children and/or sold to juveniles.”
This candy was obviously intended to hide the fact that it’s meth. That’s it. No one—at the very least not one single meth manufacturer or dealer—is either a.) giving away drugs for free to children or b.) attempting to dose kids. Drug dealers have two objectives: make money and don’t get caught. That’s the game. I didn’t need to force myself through three boring seasons of The Wire before going back to Sopranos reruns to learn that. Dosing children with meth just guarantees a parent hauling the kid into the emergency room and asking the doctor to sedate the tyke that’s been up for four days…followed by a visit from the cops. No need to tag the dealers as child abusers; I’m sure they’re already going to have enough of a hard time in jail.