MILF Arrested For Reportedly Having Sex With Three High School Football Players

It’s a sad rule of life, but for the most part pretty people have sex with pretty people and ugly people have sex with ugly people. Could I have phrased that in a more intellectual manner? Sure, but that’s really what it amounts to – if you have money and you’re ugly you can bag yourself more attractive persons, and occasionally someone will kick outside their coverage – but for the most part, people tend to stay in their lanes.

So when you see so many teacher student sex scandals hit the news, it’s no surprise that the women tend to be pretty busted. Who else would have sex with a high school student if not a lonely, unattractive and horny teacher who spends her days yelling at teenage snots for measly pay?

Mary Fletcher isn’t busted though. Mary Fletcher is a DIME.

Via Facebook

Like DAAAAAMN lady, I’m straight as an arrow but I’d eat through a mile of broken glass just to snort a fart outta that butt. According to Daily Mail, however, it appears I’m not alone in wanting to much butt, as Mary was arrested on Tuesday for allegedly having sex with three high school football students.

No, I don’t know for sure that they munched her butt. I’m just going off what I think is a safe assumption, because you can’t tell me you’re gonna hook up with a dime of a MILF and not at least tickle a butthole; not doing so may as well be a crime against nature.

Authorities state that 42-year-old Mary (oh yeah, did I mention she looks GREAT for 42?) slept with three different students in different parts of Siskiyou County over multiple weeks.

Via Siskiyou County PD

While the names and exact ages of the students have not been released in order to protect their identities, Sheriff Jon Lopey stated that text messages sent by Mary indicate that she attempted to intimidate one of the teens into keeping quiet. This is what blows me – like, why are you texting these kids. They’re not your friends. You boned them, that was it. Look at it like a one night stand and move on, because keeping contact with THE UNDERAGE STUDENTS YOU BOINKED is more likely to come back and bite you in the ass than not.

After her arrest, Mary was charged with four counts of unlawful sexual intercourse, two counts for two victims and two counts for the third victim. She was released on $10,000 bail and is scheduled to appear in court on March 22.