Happy Methter!

What better way to celebrate Christ’s crucifixion and subsequent resurrection then by jamming two condoms full of meth worth $30,000 inside a bunny rabbit?  That was a terribly rhetorical question because of course there’s no better way as was determined by police in Oklahoma who intercepted a package holding that meth bunny.  

What’s $30,000 worth of meth look like, anyway?  Our office intern still uses angel dust because he’s a bit of a hipster so we don’t have a ton of experience with meth to judge weights and measures.  Google says it costs maybe $65 to $90 a gram in Oklahoma City so on the low end that could be about 461 grams, so basically a pound.  A bunny with a pound of meth jammed in its Easter Hole. 

Why jam a bunny full of meth and then send it via Fedex to someone you may ask?  Well, probably because you’re a bad drug dealer.  Fedex has to be an unreliable method of drug delivery if for no other reason than it’s a pretty legitimate company and probably frowns upon being used as a drug mule.  But then you have to wonder where such a terrible drug dealer gets $30,000 worth of meth from in the first place if they suck so bad at dealing it.  On that subject, we can only speculate – have you heard of the number of people who make meth in Wal marts these days?  It’s astounding.  People just start making it in the aisles.

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You can set up rolling meth labs in vans and RV’s and just cook the crap up as you drive around town, there have been meth labs set up in hotel rooms, in Wal Mart bathrooms and more.  In 2012 a dude was arrested on a motorcycle driving through Missouri with an actual meth cooking operation strapped to the bike;  just a tiny, portable meth lab on the go.  In 2014 a guy was found in Florida cooking meth in a smart water bottle in his pant leg.  The same year was busted in Shreveport after she checked into a casino hotel and started a meth lab in her room and air vents because why not store all your volatile chemicals in the air vents?

Potentially most awesome of all was the 64 year old dude in Fresno, California who was using his room at the retirement home to cook and sell meth, because retirement doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you love, especially if you love selling meth.

All of that just goes to show pretty much anyone can make meth, os cooking up a pound of it probably won’t take all that much time or effort and that’s how you end up with drug dealers who think jamming a bunny’s ass full of meth and Fedexing it to someone else is a good idea, when clearly it’s not.  Anyway, hope everyone had a happy Easter.