What does it say about the current state of affairs in the world that a dude can’t have sex with a horse without getting consent first? I’m not advocating having sex with animals, and I’m not saying that the horse enjoyed it or even noticed a puny human dick going into its massive pony anus – but the first thing on most people’s minds is probably “Why did you have sex with a horse?” not “Did the horse give verbal consent to your anal spelunking?” Yet 31-year-old Daniel Raymond Webb-Jackson went and answered the question no one was asking, after he went and, YOU GUESSED IT – fucked a horse.
According to News.au, CCTV cameras caught Webb-Jackson breaking into horse stables on the evening of January 22nd. After police arrived on the scene, Webb-Jackson was found “crouching in the corner of a fourth open stable” and was quickly arrested after a “short scuffle” with cops:
During police interviews Webb-Jackson admitted to committing two sexual acts with a horse.
He told police the filly smelt his crotch and winked at him, which he believed was the animal giving consent, The Daily Examiner of Grafton reported.
The trainer said he was preparing the horse to race, but the incident had changed the demeanour of the animal dramatically.
If that’s not consent then I don’t know what is. Anytime I’m feeling frisky my boyfriend won’t help me out unless I take a big ol’ pubic huff and blink like I’ve got sand in my eyes, so I can understand his confusion here.
And while I made jokes about how the horse probably couldn’t even tell (I do not like horses, do not hang out around them, and therefore am not an authority on how wide their assholes are), apparently the poor little thing is having a rough time. “She is only a little two-year-old and we had to put her out in the paddock,” the horse’s trainer said about her recent change in demeanor. “The filly went from being quiet to being highly strung, she changed in 24 hours. We had to put her in the paddock to try and get her head right.”
As for his punishment, Daniel Raymond Webb-Jackson was jailed for 10 months and fined $700 for his two sexual acts: allowing a horse to fellate him, as well as “digitally penetrating the horse.” But if you ask me, dude should be able to plead down his jail sentence by answering the question we REALLY want answered: how do you get a horse to suck your dick without biting it off? Asking for a friend, I swear.