Real "Cyborg" Is Turning His Penis Into A Vibrator | Today In Robot Apocalypse

For Today In Robot Apocalypse we go to Utah where a “biohacker” named Rich Lee wants to turn his penis into an actual vibrator sex toy. The future is now!

For the past few years futurists and technology experts have been predicting that in the not too distant future the Singularity-  the point when computers become smarter than humans - will usher in a new age where we upload our brains to computers and Man merges with machine. However this is the first time we have heard about merging machine with someone’s manhood.

 

 

In order to make his little buddy a Terminator, Lee is going to surgically insert a vibrating implant called the Lovetron9000 beneath his pubic bone. The wirelessly charged device was built by Lee himself and he expects it to last for 45 minutes of machine-man love. The device will have the effect of making his penis vibrate.   Where does the man start the machine begin?

 

I could see this being the plot of a really bad or really good porno depending on your definitions of good and bad. As the vibrator starts to take over his human side his lover screams; “If you can hear me Rich, I know that you’re still inside there somehow!”

Dude has wireless earbuds implanted in his ears so he doesn't have to listen to the ladies while using this vibrator implant. Smart!

Lee is part of a community of “grinders” who create do it yourself projects to augment their bodies. It’s like if Tim Allen on Home Improvement was into body modification. Previously Lee was known for “biohacking” his ears and implanting headphones right in his ear lobes. Some folks like to write headlines saying that this qualifies him as a cyborg- half man – half machine, just like frickin’ RoboCop.

Oh man, looks like they messed with RoboCop’s junk as well. Sad.

However if you think about it he’s just a guy who jammed headphones under his skin. He’s not exactly interfacing his brain with the Matrix. In fact for anyone considering running out and getting a bionic penis for Christmas, you might want to hold off until the technology has been perfected.

 

He hasn’t had the thing installed yet due to some technical difficulties. He says;

“Moments before I was ready to implant the device I ran some final tests and the thing had a glitch. A component broke inside, so the whole thing went back on hold.”

“A glitch” is not something most dudes want to hear about their wang. And if that glitch is anything like the Samsung Galaxy battery situation… BOOM.

Would you ever consider getting a biohack upgrade, genital or otherwise?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney