Man Sues Apple For Causing Porn Addiction

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Jul. 15, 2013

Chris Sevier was just a man like any other man. He had a wife, a child, and a nice law career. He purchased an Apple Macbook and never expected his life to fall apart because of it.

Sevier wanted to check out his Facebook, but accidentally typed "f*ckbook.com." That's when his life ceased to be the same.

That website led him down the rabbit hole of internet pornography and he couldn't stop checking out sexy ladies having sex with men. He was out of control and only one thing was to blame:

Apple.

Sevier, a lawyer (surprisingly), filled a 50-page lawsuit against Apple and it... is... awesome. (All typos in the lawsuit are his and not mine).

The lawsuit starts with:

The Plaintiff is a victim of Apple’s product that was sold to him without any warning of the damage the pornography causes. “But for” the Plaintiff’s use of the Apple product, the quality of the Plaintiff’s life would have been much better and injury would have been avoided. The Plaintiff sustained these unwarranted damages in the course of using Apple’s product as designed. Apple’s product was not adequately equipped with safety features that would have otherwise blocked unwarranted intrusions of pornographic content that systematically poisoned his life.

It's simple. Apple didn't tell the man about boobies. It's not his fault! And those damn Apple Geniuses were no help, either:

When the Plaintiff bought his Apple Mac Book, no one at the apple store warned him that looking at pornographic images and videos could cause addictions to include arousal addiction or that the devise [sic] could be the gateway to accessing content that could cause a rewiring of his brain, which lead [sic] to the demise of his family, unemployment, and unwanted changes in life style.

Arousal addiction? Rewiring of the brain? Damn, Apple. What have you done?

The Plaintiff became totally out of synch in his romantic relationship with his wife, which was a consequence of his use of his Apple product. The Plaintiff began desiring, younger more beautiful girls featured in porn videos than his wife, who was no longer 21. His failed marriage caused the Plaintiff to experience emotional distress to the point of hospitalization. The Plaintiff could no longer tell the difference between internet pornography and tangible intercourse due to the content he accessed through the Apple products, which failed to provide him with warnings of the dangers of online pornography whatsoever.

The following is a dramtization of his hospital visit:

Sevier - Doctor! Please help me! I'm addicted to getting boners by looking at hot chicks and not my dumb, old wife!

Doctor - Mr. Sevier, what is going on? What led to this?

Sevier - I bought a Macbook.

Doctor - Jesus Christ.

"Apple employees know that a man is born full of harmonies and attacked to by women engaging in sexual acts with the intent to cause vicarious arousal."

This sentence is sort of a clustercuss but I think what he's saying is Apple knows that men have uncontrollable hormones (not harmonies) that love seeing women have sex and this leads to crazy hard boners. Why didn't you tell him this Apple? Sevier wants to fix this by forcing Apple to sell all their products with "safe mode" turned on already. By doing this, no one can look at porn unless they choose to which is totally different from how the current system is where Apple sets you down and forces you to get raging erections while watching porn.

And with big government getting involved, it'll save marriages and the porn industry!

…unregulated internet porn is hurting brick and mortar or “mom and pop” porn shops. This is no different than how illegal downloading of musical content and movie content has caused the collapse of traditional record stores and video rental entities, such as block buster.

It's always sad when the ol' mom and pop porn shoppe down the street closes down due to too many heathens watching YouPorn online.

It brings a tear to our eye...

If you want to read all of his lawsuit, here it is. It might be his last because the Tennessee Supreme Court placed him on disability inactive status due to "mental infirmity or illness" due to this lawsuit. And who do you think is to blame for that?

Apple...

 

Chris Sevier Apple Complaint


- Mark (twitter)