Man Steals An Ambulance To Go To A Topless Bar

A homeless man in Pontiac, Michigan was feeling rather (shall we say?) amorous and wanted to go to his favorite neighborhood strip club. Unfortunately, he didn’t have a way to get there until he found an unlocked ambulance. 

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The 51-year-old Bryan Kryscio, allegedly stole the ambulance using the keys that the driver left in the ignition after rushing a patient into a nearby hospital. Once they discovered their vehicle was gone, they called the police who were able to track the ambulance thanks to a cell phone that one of the paramedics left inside of it. Police caught up to Kryscio and the ambulance and conducted a traffic stop.

He told police he was on his way to the Booby Trap, a closed down strip club that was located on Detroit’s infamous Eight Mile Road, to see a certain dancer. Police arrested the man on car theft charges.

The best part about going to a strip in an ambulance is that you’re bound to have easy access to something that can treat whatever communicable diseases you’ll pick up from your lap dance. 

There’s one piece of logic to this story that we don’t understand. Exactly how would a homeless man get to enjoy the services of a strip club if he doesn’t have any money? How exactly would he “make it rain” and if he uses change instead of cash, isn’t that technically “making it hail”? 

This is not the Booby Trap in question.

Source: The Oakland Press

Follow Danny Gallagher on Twitter @thisisdannyg