The Deadliest Selfie of All

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Aug. 04, 2014

Call this story mind-blowing if you like, but that would be in poor taste as a man is dead.  Dead after choosing to pose for a selfie with a gun to his own head and, apparently, his finger a little too tight on the trigger.

The idea of someone being dumb enough to do this shouldn’t be surprising.  Remember, you live in the same world in which that Kardashian app has already made about $200 million.  We’ve lost the right to be surprised by how stupid anything is.  That said, this one is still a puzzler because 21 year old Oscar Aguilar, by all accounts, shouldn’t have been a dipshit.  He was a veterinarian, for God’s sake.  He was educated.  His downfall was that, for some reason, he wasn’t smart enough to realize how dumb Facebook is, and this instilled in him a penchant for taking the tackiest, low class selfies money can buy.  He’d post pics of himself in flashy cars (borrowed ones), with hot girls (borrowed ones) and doing flashy, thuggish (borrowed) things. 

Here’s the thing – it’s Facebook.  Your family is on Facebook.  Your friends are on Facebook.  Who the hell are you fooling with BS pics of you in cars and with girls when everyone knows that’s not your girl and not your car?  And to make it all worse, he borrows a gun from someone and starts douching around with it to take pics like he’s a straight up thug instead of a veterinarian who should have had a real future and there you go, the man is dead, shot by his own stupidity.

Last week a story surfaced about a soldier in the Russian army whose tragic narcissism and selfie addiction got him caught out in the Ukraine despite Russian President Vladimir Putin assuring the world his troops were not deployed across the border.  How then, people wondered, did this lowly fool of a solider managed to have his selfies tagged in the Ukraine when he was supposed to be miles and miles away in Russia?  The answer, of course, is that the dude was in the Ukraine, Russia lies a lot and selfies are so stupid, they can kill people and possibly even start wars.  Stop it.  Stop it.  What are you doing that’s so important yet doesn’t involve anyone who can take a photo for you that this needs to be on film?  Stop being self-obsessed, deranged narcissists.

When you’re in the bathroom, you do not need to take a photo.  99% of the time nothing ever occurs in a bathroom that requires photographic archiving or evidence.  Stop those mirror selfies.  Stop prop selfies, especially if your prop is capable of murder.  Don’t take selfies in places like the mall, a parking lot, or Wal Mart, unless there’s something hilarious afoot.  Stop obsessing over yourself, your phone and the fact you can put a sepia filter on things and just go out and live a life before it gets short by some other idiot taking a selfie with a gun.