Another Reason To Buy American, Man Gets Testicle Stuck In IKEA Stool

Screw buying foreign. People have many reasons as to why, ours being that American workers deserve all of the work they can get, but here’s a new reason to put on the ever-growing pile of reasons. Some dude bought a stool from IKEA and got his damn balls stuck in it.

Here’s the stool in question.

This stool does not want you to have kids.

So how the hell did he get his berries stuck in a stool exactly? The answer is easier than we figured. Claus Jorstad was using the stool in his shower, which is why his junk was exposed. And when one has a stool in the shower, one of course has to use it to take a seat and just relax. Unfortunately for Claus, one of his nuts drooped into one of the stool’s nut-sized holes and got stuck!

This explains where IKEA really gets those Swedish meatballs.

What the fuck does one do when their balls are stuck in a hole and you’re completely naked? Take the stool to a hospital? Claus sat thinking of how to handle this for a while until the hot water (which is what expanded his balls to get stuck in the first place) turned cold. Luckily, AND UNFORTUNATELY, he had to sit in the freezing water until his nuts turned into raisins so he could finally free himself.

This whole story is like 127 Hours, only instead of hiking it’s a story about balls.

Claus posted the whole adventure onto IKEA’s Facebook page but has yet to receive a response from the Swedish retail chain. However his story went viral and will hopefully be bought by Hollywood as an Oscar bait biopic.

But back to IKEA. Founded in Sweden, their store is filled with junk produced by the Chinese, the Swedish and the Polish, with Sweden being the main designers for the store’s furniture. And again, goes to show you why you should by American. Always. That is if you actually want to keep your testicles.

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