Best Employee On Earth Escapes Bondage, Calls Police After Going To Work

A masked man breaks into a house.

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If armed men broke into your home and threw you down the stairs into your basement, would you think about calling in sick to work?

Hell yeah.

But one man in Illinois did not.

Here’s what happened:

Home Alone break-in funny GIF

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  • The victim (name withheld) is a 40-year-old dude from Woodstock, Illinois.
  • Two armed men broke into his house and tied him up, then pushed him down the stairs of his basement.
  • He was able to get himself free from his binds.
  • He then made sure the intruders were gone, got ready…
  • And went to work.

  • I have once faked an allergy to my own skin to get out of work. This guy is amazing.
  • The man was having a water cooler chat with a co-worker and told about his bondage party before work.
  • “Uh, dude,” said the co-worker, probably. “You need to call the police and report that crap.”
  • The man didn’t want to, but after some prodding, he called police and reported the incident… but only after he returned home later that day.

A little girl orders people to call 911 GIF

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  • Do they not have phones where he works?
  • My guess is that they do, but this rockstar worker apparently refuses to take breaks, too, so he wouldn’t pause to dial 911.
  • The police report said the break-in happened around noon, but they did not get a call until 5:30pm.
  • Those are some good working hours, by the way…
  • According to the Woodstock police, the greatest employee ever was apparently targeted, because the thieves knew what they were after in his safe: guns.

a man breaks into a safe

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  • I'm still in awe of this guy.
  • I also even called in sick once claiming I needed stiches because I was bleeding so much…
  • It turned out to be strawberry jam I had put my arm in at Waffle House the night before.

funny Waffle House trucker's hat

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  • This guy had a foot injury from his tumble down the stairs and not only went to work, but didn’t want to be treated.
  • I can only imagine that this guy was deadlocked in a vicious battle for Employee of the Month – or Year – at work and would be damned if he was going to let anything stand in his way.

  • Or maybe his work offers some serious cash for perfect attendance.
  • If none of those are the case, he should win something great at work.
  • Maybe something of the lap dance variety...
  • And I'm going to start the petition.

Source: UPI