You'll Never Guess Why This Guy Cut Off His Penis At A Busy Restaurant

Hopefully no one was eating a sausage dish at the packed Zizzi restaurant in London on Sunday night. That’s because a 35 year old Polish national chopped off his own penis in front of horrified eaters. Normally Zizzi slices pizza, but it sounds like this guy was serving up slices of his own anchovy.

Check please.

The man ran into the restaurant, headed for the kitchen, grabbed a large knife, came out to the dining area, jumped on a table, dropped his pants and lopped off his manhood as everyone ran screaming. Wait, he wasn’t even eating at the restaurant? Penis severing is for guests only!

Police subdued the man, recovered his penis, and took him to the hospital where he is undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. Surgeons are also attempting to reattach his little tallywacker.

Yelp reviews for the restaurant give it four stars with excellent atmosphere, tasty Italian menu options, and fun in-house entertainment. I’m just saying: How did the screaming customers know it wasn’t performance art?

No shirt, no shoes, no penis, no service.

After all, there was that guy in Japan who surgically removed his penis and testicles so he could serve them AS DINNER at a banquet. Hopefully dinner guests weren’t left hungry, if you know what I mean.

You're not crazy if you have people pay to eat your penis.

Give Phil Haney a piece of your mind on Twitter @PhilHaney