You hear about bizarre robberies on a pretty regular basis. Most go off as planned – a dude busts in, steals your phone and your TV, you swear a lot, story over. Sometimes they get weird – a dude busts in, starts cooking dinner, falls asleep on your sofa and the cops pick him up. Or maybe he just steals some cucumbers. People do weird stuff. This is one of those extra weird tales.
A Man in Cadillac, Michigan woke up in the middle of the night being attacked by an intruder wielding a knife. That has to be pretty intense for any of us and is probably worth a change of shorts. However, rather than demanding money or just ransacking the place, ol’ Mr. Knifey told the homeowner they were going to smoke some weed together and they were going to do it right then and there.
Our crafty hero managed to stall the nut job in his house, we can only hope by discussing different types of weed and which ones he felt would be suitable for a middle of the night, home invasion high, until the other guy was so enthralled he put his knife down. The home owner grabbed the knife and made off like a bandit, running to the neighbor’s house. It actually gets weirder at this point because the story really makes it seem like, in a panic to escape the first guy, the second guy broke into his neighbor’s house, also wielding the knife, making him look like the lunatic at this point.
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The neighbor called the police and when they arrived, the first guy came at them with the knife, apparently not thinking this was a bad idea in any way at all. Luckily for him the cops were able to piece the story together and determine this particular psycho was just the upset original victim of the crime. The actual criminal they managed to track down not too far away because he fell down a hill trying to run away. He was arrested and promptly complained that his handcuffs were too tight.
As home invasions go, this one turned out OK, they can be a lot worse. Sometimes they’re actually even weirder however. For instance, you may recall Boston in 2014 was under the grip of a serial criminal, a home invader who would creep into your home unseen, and then tickle your feet.
The Tickler, a man in a dark mask, never stole anything and was described by at least three victims, so he managed to make his way into several places. Why he wanted to tickle feet we may never know, and if it’s better or worse than him stealing your stuff is up for debate. Seems as though he only targeted men and he only tickled their feet. It’d be a good way to start a horror film, but in reality the man just ran away when he was caught. Go figure.
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In Buxton, Maine a man accused of a home invasion crime, who claimed innocence and had an abundance of evidence to support his alibi, lost faith in the cops’ ability to investigate the crime and fled to the woods. He hid out for a few days before agreeing to turn himself in, on one condition – the cops needed to get him pizza, chocolate milk and Mountain Dew. No word on if they followed through for the man, but they did arrested him and jail him while his lawyer tried to convince a judge that his client was innocent and there was ample evidence to prove it. Plus they’d already arrested and had three other guys in custody for it. But none of them got Mountain Dew.