Man Got Arrested For Enjoying Playground Slides A Little Too Much

Last Wednesday night around 10:30PM four people had reported a real pervert at the Stoke Green Park in the UK, only this pervert thankfully didn’t want to have anything with the neighborhood children.

46-year-old Christopher Johnson was spotted having his way with the playground’s metal slide and was arrested for simulating a sex act with the equipment. I suppose that’s better than bothering someone else with his needs but still an unfortunate thing for anyone to witness in the middle of the night.

We’re sorry for what you had to go through, slide.

Johnson now has to undergo 18 months of counselling for his more than bizarre sexual interest in playground equipment after pleading guilty, as well as three years of community service. However that community service will be nowhere near a playground because he also has a lifetime ban from any location with playground equipment as well as “leisure centers” and swimming pools. I’d say it’s safe to ban him from any place with a piece of equipment that is both metal and diagonal.

This however isn’t Johnson’s first merry-go-round with a piece of playground equipment because he was actually arrested last year for banging another slide in different park. This guy can’t get enough of that sweet sweet, yet very cold metal.

Not that I like buying Christmas presents for complete strangers, but if there’s one thing someone needs to buy this guy it’s a metal slide so he can keep it in the privacy of his own bedroom. It’s nice when people finally find that special some-thing to experience life with, isn’t it?