Earlier this year we told you about the crazy guy who got all liquored up on a private flight and urinated all over Rocky IV star Dolph Lundgren who was like “If he pees, he pees.”
Well it turns out passenger pissing isn’t limited to private jets. On Friday a man on a JetBlue flight from Anchorage, Alaska to Portland Oregon decided he couldn’t wait until he got to the gate to take a leak. Instead, about 30 minutes before landing 27-year-old Jeff D. Rubin stood up and began peeing between the crack of the seat onto the passengers sitting in front of him. Depending on if the passengers have a golden shower fetish this certainly brings new meaning to the term “flying the friendly skies.”
Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse in this story, they do. While standing up peeing on the people in front of him Rubin lost his balance, falling backward, thus PISSING UPWARD. This got his urine all over the passengers next to him as well as their luggage and personal belongings. He basically tub-girl’d everyone.
You might be thinking that wow; this guy must have been hammered out of his mind to do this. Poor form for the airline stewards for failing to cut him off of the booze. However witnesses say that Rubin had been asleep for most of the flight. This guy definitely failed by three rules of traveling on an airplane which are:
- Sit Down.
- Buckle Your Seat Belt
- Shut The Fuck Up.
So now thanks to this guy I am going to have to add a fourth rule: don’t piss on anybody! Just like that lady from last week who claimed she was in the mafia and was going to bring the plane down over her cat and was not arrested, Rubin was let off fairly lightly. He was charged with two misdemeanors of criminal mischief, and offensive littering but let go “on his own recognizance.” So This guy could be behind you at McDonald’s, on the bus or in the store, ready to piss at any moment. Stay dry this weekend!
Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney