Making Love #1: The Break Love Advice Column

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Jan. 07, 2013

Making Love #1: The Break Love Advice Column

Love. It's a difficult thing. No one truly knows how it works, how to achieve it, and if it even exists. But we here at Break want to help. We're not experts, but we do have some experience with love (especially loving one's self into a sweat sock). We want to help you figure out the maze that is the feeling of being in love. And we'll need YOUR questions. Leave a question for us in the comments and we'll be sure to answer the best questions as soon as we can. We know you will leave meaningful and thought-provoking questions and we cannot wait to help you!

For this week, we'll use some stock questions that are often asked love experts to show you the look and feel of our column. If these answers help you, great! If not, then asks us your troubling questions and we will do our best to lead you to love.

Darrin-Williams-987 asks "I really like this girl, but I don't know if she likes me. I don't want to say anything and risk the friendship, so what can I do to figure it out?

This is a common issue. A person likes a friend as more than a friend but worry about revealing these feelings and losing the friendship. Darrin, the answer is pretty simple: fake your kidnapping.

Stop showing up to normal things like work and school. Don't update your social media and stop answering your phone. Give this about three days. People will grow concerned.

Then, logon to your social media but remain hidden. See what she's said about you. If she's really concerned, then that means she probably really likes you as well. If she's not that concerned, then don't reveal your feelings.

Either way, don't keep this up for longer than seven years because then, the government can rule you legally dead and then things get really complicated.

trippindrippin asks "My girlfriend asked if something made her look fat and I told her it did. Now she's mad. Why am I in trouble for telling the truth?"

We're raised that there is a truth and a lie. But that in itself is a lie because women have truth, lie, and woman truth. Woman truth is anything that the woman wants to hear. For you to go against woman truth might make you an honest man, but it also makes you a stupid one.

Next time, if she asks you if she looks fat, just imagine her next to something bigger. For example, you hear "does this dress make me look fat?" Imagine she actually said, "does this dress make me look fat compared to a Brachiosaurus in the same dress?" Then, you can say no and make her happy while remaining truthful to yourself.



sarahkesslin43 asks "My boyfriend and I fight all the time. I feel like we are complete opposites. Should I even pursue this relationship?"

If Paual Abdul and a cat can make it work, why can't you and your boyfriend?


lindzfunfun asks "I'm afraid for my dad to meet my boyfriend. My dad is crazy conservative and my boyfriend has a ton of tattoos and hates politics. I'm so scared. What should I do!?!?"

The old "my dad and boyfriend won't get along" fear. It happens and it is very much a silly fear.

Your father won't like any man you bring home because he'll always see you as his little girl. Some men might be more acceptable to him, but he'll never be truly happy. That's why you just need to roll with the punches.

And if your dad doesn't like him, then you have to choose one or the other. That's how it is. You either stay with your boyfriend and never see your father again, or dump your boyfriend and marry your dad. It's a weird custom, but in extreme cases like you're talking about, it's the only sure-fire way out.


PackersFan69 asks "Does peanut butter really work with a dog?"

It does, but you want to use Nutella. Nutella contains chocolate, which can easily kill a dog. And you don't want that dog to live because that dog will always look at you and know what you had it do. There are millions of adorable dogs that need homes. You can have your dog fun AND help shelters out.

Don't be selfish: use Nutella.

LEAVE YOUR QUESTIONS IN THE COMMENTS!

6 comments
Cool-Jon-1
Cool-Jon-1

You know what the real joke is here, Break, it is making us read.

lemmy4x4
lemmy4x4

I read all the way to the end hoping there would be a funny part.

Netalius
Netalius

This is what happens when you let too many girls on your staff. Can't wait for the next one on the perfect martini for the party you got those great shoes for!

Hoofster
Hoofster

Getting love advice from break is like taking swimming lessons from a rock

Break Robot
Break Robot

Break Robot is wondering if you can phrase this in a form of a question so they can answer it next week.