Make A Case: Whos A Better Killer Ray Lewis or OJ Simpson?

You ever been out partying with some friends and in a moment of false clarity thought you’d unraveled the secrets of the universe?  And as you tried to explain why the original cartoon Ninja Turtles were superior to the original film Ninja Turtles, your friends turn on you and argue the exact opposite and therefore stupid thing?  There are endless, pressing questions like this that have been debated in bars and parties around the world, so we thought we’d bring some of that wisdom here, for you, to help you make your case should this particular argument ever arise.  And to kick things off,  we had a  couple of Break staffers choose sides and  have a go at Ray Lewis and OJ Simpson.  Just who was better?  Not at football, but getting away with murder.

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This one’s a no brainer, why is this a debate?  Isn’t OJ in prison right now?  Ray Lewis still plays football.  If Ray Lewis weren’t retiring and going to the Superbowl, how much of Middle America would even know he allegedly killed a man.  Allegedly!  He plead out!  Did OJ plead out?  No.  No one thinks OJ allegedly murdered anyone.  Everyone thinks OJ is guilty.

Ray Lewis is so good he got fined and then went back to work.  If I killed an intern I would absolutely get fired from my job.  And do prison time.  And not go to the Superbowl.  The big scandal Ray Lewis is dealing with right now is whether or not he ate deer antlers or something like that.  Can you even imagine someone accusing OJ of that? 

“Hey look, OJ Simpson is freebasing deer antlers.” 


“OJ, the guy who murdered his wife then did that stupid TV Bronco chase in the 90s.” 

“Oh yeah.”

The real issue with Lewis is that even though no one knows for sure if he actually did the stabbing, he was at least there and part of it and no on eve cares. He’s literally a household name, he’s like Howie Long, except no one likes Howie and Howie never killed anyone.

 He made a complete 180 to the point that you don’t even think about him possibly stabbing two people to death. He’s even gone so far as to have people who know nothing about him other than who he is now defend him, saying it would be impossible that he’d do that. They don’t even know his history or the facts and they are saying he wouldn’t do it! Now, he’ll spend the rest of his life loved by 80% of the population and he will be a commentator on ESPN next year. He’s fine. Forever. And decades from now, most people won’t even know what he did or might have done.

OJ’s legacy is completely destroyed and Ray Lewis is about to go out on top of his.  It’s no contest, Ray Lewis has mastered both football and completely shirking the law.

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Ray Lewis wishes he could be as adept at completely flaunting the law and, let’s face it, the entirety of society, as well as OJ Simpson.  Every story that gets published about Ray Lewis’ past gets his panties in a bunch and he goes on Twitter or ESPN or whatever the venue of choice for professional criminals is and complains about people bringing it up.  He didn’t get away with anything, he rolled on two friends and took a deal to a lesser charge so he just wouldn’t be punished for it.  Why was their blood in his car?  Wasn’t he dressed in some kind of insane, Bond-villain white suit that night that was never found again?  Of course he was guilty, and he even reached a financial deal with the families’ of both victims before a civil trial. 

OJ Simpson not only killed two people by himself, he took a leisurely Sunday drive on national TV to avoid the cops until every news show in the world was covering him and then went to trial for literally 10 years.  It was on TV every day for the entire 1990’s.  They had iron clad DNA evidence that he was at the scene of the crime and his lawyer made him try on a glove and he was found not guilty. 

Then he had the balls to tell the world he wasn’t going to rest until he found the real killers and proceeded to go golfing for two years straight.  And then he wrote a book about how he killed them.  HE WROTE A BOOK ABOUT IT!

Ray Lewis may have avoided prison by begging and pleading, but OJ did it by being a complete ass.  And if we’re comparing who’s better at being a monster, OJ has to win hands down.

And hey, if you need some more fun leading up to the Big Game, check out Commercial Break and some of the best and funniest commercials aired during the game whose name we can’t legally mention!