There is not a single show on Bravo or E! that I’ve ever watched. I don’t watch Real Housewives of Any-fucking-where, I don’t watch Vanderpump Rules and I could not even begin to tell you what the plot of Mob Wives is about besides, y’know, angry middle-aged women from New Jersey and Staten Island screaming at each other. This sounds like superfluous information, but I wanted to let everyone know up front before I dive into this story about Louise Thompson from Made in Chelsea.
What is Made in Chelsea, you ask? Pretty much what I described above; a show about rich people doing rich people things and then spitting on us poors by saying shit like “Ugh, and first class ONLY had a Carménère Cabernet Sauvignon 1847, NOT the 1815 like I usually drink.” You know what wine I drink? Franzia. Preferably on the rocks.
So with that in mind, I’m generally on #TeamFuckThesePeople. And so when I found out that Louise Thompson was getting pelted with hot shit after posting a photo to Instagram, I was all “Hell yeah! Burn this chick to the ground! ALL ABOARD THE CELEBRITY HATE TRAIN CHOO-CHOO MOTHAFUCKAS!”
But then I did a little more reading.
Thompson, for those of you not in “the know” (which is okay, since I had to Google all of this too because it’s not like I follow these stupid assholes either), has been hitting the gym extra hard lately ever since she started dating a personal trainer. Like every other basic white girl on Instagram, she posts progress photos:
One progress photo in particular, however, has apparently set the entire world on fire. Is she naked? Dressed like a Nazi? Flipping the bird while sticking a few fingers into her unshaven asshole? What could POSSIBLY be SO inflammatory that this has become something deemed newsworthy????
See for yourself:
Gee whiz, what a fucking scandal. The problem people have isn’t with the photo, however — it’s what she wrote as her caption:
Yup, people are mad because she talked about need to lose “the fat” over the top of her muscles. Please note that nowhere did she call herself “fat,” imply that she was “fat” or go the usual route that girls take, which is something along the lines of “Omg I ate SOOO much today and like, totally gained 10 pounds omg BLAH comment if you disagree!!!!”
The idiots of the Internet took no time getting all up in her face about it either:
Again — and this shouldn’t need repeating, yet here we are — she didn’t call herself fat. She said she had to get rid of the fat covering her abs in order to see a six-pack definition, which is correct. This whole argument is like someone yelling at you for saying the sky is too cloudy to see the moon, because “The moon is beautiful EXACTLY the way it is and doesn’t need to change to your preconceived societal notion of what is pretty!!” Bitch you can’t even see the moon. No one said it was gross, they just said YOU PHYSICALLY CANNOT SEE IT WITH ALL THE SHIT IN THE WAY. Jesus H Christ.
Some people understood what Louise was talking about…
…but most continued to bury their heads into the sand and scream “body shaming thin privilege!”
We truly are overdue for another plague.