How to Turn Your Shower Into a Nightmarish Girlfriend Monster

Ian-Fortey by Ian-Fortey on Jul. 15, 2014

If you’re feeling lonely, or are just a serial killer, this one will be right up your alley, especially if your alley is laced with cobwebs and the screams of long dead voices begging you to have mercy.  A chap named ARuFa (not our capitalizations) was seen recently on imgur demonstrating how you too can make a home companion with just a simple set of nightmare tools and the imagination of someone like Buffalo Bill. 

In case you feel like copying this work of madness, we made a step by step guide to follow ARuFa’s example.  Here’s the fellow now, his identity protected ever so slightly.  He barely looks insane at all, does he?  Well, get ready for a weird ride.

Step 1: Get yourself a depressing shower, like this one.



Step 2: You’re going to need materials.  This appears to be white clay, acrylic paint, a Japanese newspaper, a soulless abomination of a mask and who knows what that other package is.  Something horrible?  Check!

Step 4: Start by taping the mask to your shower head so it can gaze down upon you in that disembodied and lifeless way that’s so comforting.

Step 5: Give your lady friend a voluptuous body.  This is easily accomplished with tape and a dress from Goodwill, an estate sale or your grandma.  Hey, maybe you could get it from grave robbing.  We’re just saying, there are ways to get dresses.

Step 6: Give form to your shower humpmunculous with those leftover papers.  Stuff stuff stuff, that’s how the pro’s do it!

Step 7: It’s boobie time!

Step 8: Kneel before the Altar of the Damned and gaze upon the visage that will usher your victims into the terrible blackness of eternity! Oops, we mean, start making some arms!

Step 9: Give your face a realistic hue.  Don’t want it to be creepy, do you?

Step 10: She’s going to need eyes if her unblinking stare is going to judge you.

Step 11: Now give her some gorgeous, lady-like hair because a bald shower girlfriend surely will only scald your genitals with hot water.

Step 12: Pray for forgiveness.

Step 13: Watch her go!

Step 14:  Join in the fun!

Step 15:  Feed her never-ending hunger.

And that’s basically it.  Wasn’t that easy?  And won’t you have some fun stories to tell the psychologist in prison?