Revenge of Silence of the Lambs: Animal Sacrifice Doesn’t Save Driver From Death

Sometimes we’ll read a news item and know what to think. Whether we empathize with a tragedy, laugh at a dork or just plain shake our heads and go “wow,” we will likely know what it evokes. This story though is just too strange to fully comprehend at first glance, as it’s tragic, weird and likely several other things.

The story first hit the wires due to the extremely odd way the body was found.  Car accidents are a terrible if common thing, but to have the body land on a freeway sign is definitely unusual. The lamb sacrifice though is clearly the icing on this morbid cake of a story (we hesitate to call it a cautionary tale just yet.)  The matagh, the name of this lamb sacrifice, is part of the Armenian Church that is basically meant to give good luck. Just not good luck for the lamb of course.

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Is it fair to say this backfired? If you believe that sacrificing animals is going to actually protect from harm, then it did faster than a Kardashian leaving a party when they realize there are no cameras there to commemorate their visit. Speaking of Kardashians of another sort, the victim’s cousin was actually named Armen Kardashian – if he’s related, we could only add another level of oddity to this story.

Armen said “Say we have to go, but not in that way. It just became a spectacle.” Damn straight about that, Armen. He also mentioned that the victim always wore seatbelts and even had a special racing safey harness to protect him. Then again, he wasn’t wearing it at the time he became part of a human slingshot. Couldn’t the lamb sacrifice at least given him the good sense to wear this dang fancy seatbelt?


We likely will never know exactly what happened, although a call to the CHP shortly before the accident mentioned that a driver of a Ford Fiesta (the car that he crashed in) was driving recklessly in the area.

If you’re PETA, you might see this sad story as instant karma. If you’re a family member, it is a tragedy that might haunt forever. If you’re sitting at home reading this on your laptop, perhaps you’re just scratching your head in wonder at the bizarre world we live in.