DOES KIM KARDASHIAN HAVE A SEX TAPE?
I have a feeling that this is one of those “ask a question you already know the answer to” type situations, but on the off chance that you’re somehow not aware of this – yes; Kim Kardashian does have a sex tape. In fact, there’s like an 80% chance that you wouldn’t even know her name if she hadn’t made one, and if it hadn’t gotten released to the public. But perhaps you’re looking for a little background information on the famous Kim Kardashian sex tape …
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CAN I HAVE A LITTLE BACKGROUND INFORMATION ON THE FAMOUS KIM KARDASHIAN SEX TAPE?
I knew it! And sure, you can have some background info. The whole thing started when Kim Kardashian started dating singer Ray J (who happens to be little brother to Brandy Norwood), and the two decided to make a sex tape. This actually happened back in 2003, which sort of puts Kim and Ray J ahead of their time a little bit, now that practically everyone has a sex tape floating around out there somewhere nowadays. The tape took four years to leak, not hitting the public until 2007. Here’s a still from the sex tape, which has become something of a pop culture icon:
HOW WAS THE TAPE MADE PUBLIC?
That’s actually something of a mystery. It might be hard to realize now, but back in the old, old days of 2003, you couldn’t just hack into the cloud to steal people’s sex tapes and nude photos – some actual physical theft had to take place at some point along the chain of distribution. That basic fact didn’t stop the people at Vivid Entertainment from somehow acquiring the rights to the tape, and to this day it remains their biggest selling product. And naturally, it also didn’t stop Kim Kardashian from filing a lawsuit against Vivid and receiving a $5 million settlement. Some conspiracy theorists have suggested that the tape was made for just such a purpose, but I can see at least one massive crack in that theory – Kim Kardashian was nowhere near famous enough in 2003 (in fact, she wasn’t really famous at all) to assume that a sex tape featuring her would be worth as much money as it turned out to be.
WHAT HAPPENED TO KIM KARDASHIAN FOLLOWING THE SUCCESS OF HER SEX TAPE?
Man oh man, a better question might be to ask what DIDN’T happen to her. In previous eras, a situation like that could have ended a career in the public eye, but Kim Kardashian: Superstar actually made Kim Kardashian just that – a superstar. She curtailed the fame from her sex tape into a reality show gig, tons of big money endorsement contracts, and (indirectly, anyway) marriage to the reigning king of hip-hop, Kanye West. But, given that you’re searching for information on her sex tape, you probably already knew that. Spirals within spirals, that’s what this is. But just in case you don’t, here’s a taste of some of Kim Kardashian’s high profile gigs from after the release of her sex tape:
That’s a clip from Keeping Up with the Kardashians, the popular long-running reality series featuring Kim and the rest of her family. Recent reports have suggested that Kim might be getting sick of the show, and she certainly has no financial reason to keep doing something she doesn’t like – not with all of her lucrative endorsement contracts, like the one that produced this:
As you can see in the video above, even a spokesperson gig for a shoe brand like Sketchers doesn’t stop Kim Kardashian from pouring on the sex – I guess some lucky people are just born with that special touch.
Kardashian wasn’t done with her Sketchers deal, though. Soon after she started promoting a laser hair removal system called Tria. Maybe it was just the paychecks talking, but she seemed pretty enthusiastic about the product on various talk shows:
But watching Kim Kardashian talk about hair removal with Rachel Ray isn’t particularly sexy (unless you have a very weird and very specific fetish). This next commercial, for a weight loss program called Quick Trim, has a sexy shot of Kim Kardashian climbing out of a swimming pool, so it might just be relevant to your interests:
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Finally, I’ll include one more Kim Kardashian product just for the sake of curiosity, since I doubt it will be of erotic interest to anyone except possibly Gordon Gekko. It’s the Kim Kardashian Mastercard, the result of a collaboration that I’m pretty sure no one saw coming:
IS THERE ANY MORE SEXY KIM KARDASHIAN CONTENT I COULD TAKE A LOOK AT HERE?
Like Paris Hilton before her, Kim Kardashian was unafraid to capitalize on her newfound sex symbol status, which is a status quo that remains in place all the way up to today. So, yeah, there are plenty of sexy pics and video of Kim Kardashian out there, over and above her work in the world of advertising. Like this one, for instance:
That one’s clearly a modeling shot, taken under controlled circumstances. But this next photo shows she can look just as good in candid shots:
I don’t want to give Kardashian’s modeling career a bad reputation though – let’s just say she’s equally adept at both forms of expression in front of the camera. Here’s another shot to prove it, and balance things out:
OK, so this next video is technically an advertisement. It shows Kim Kardashian consuming a certain product, with the aim of the video being that viewers will hope to consume the product as well. But since this is a commercial for a salad at Carl’s Jr., you can be forgiven for forgetting all about fast foods, salads, and any other stray facts that might have crossed your mind while you watch it. It follows the pattern that has been well-established by Carl’s Jr., showing a hot celebrity eating a Carl’s Jr. product in a highly sexually suggestive manner (in fact, it kind of seems like she wants to have sex with the salad). It does break with the formula in that it’s a salad and not a cheeseburger, but Kardashian definitely makes it work:
Next, here’s a pretty good video from the Break archives featuring Kim Kardashian at the beach in a bikini. Not quite a sex tape, but it might be worth a look anyway:
And here’s another video featuring Kim Kardashian that—well, I’ll just let the video title speak for itself:
ARE THERE ANY KIM KARDASHIAN SEX TAPE PARODIES OR SPOOFS OUT THERE?
Like all pop culture phenomena, the Kim Kardashian sex tape has inspired a metric ton of parodies, satires, spoofs, and commentaries since its 2007 premiere. Too many, probably, to list here, but I can give you some of the most high-profile ones.
Beside its use as celebrity pornography, the Kim Kardashian sex tape has a thriving second life as the subject of myriad reaction videos. The basic idea is to take someone who’s never seen the tape before (or, ideally, any sex tape before), and film their reactions as they watch. There are probably a bunch of these out there, but you might as well start with the most entertaining one, starring some grandmas. Here it is:
Next, it’s a parody of the Kim Kardashian sex tape from the people at … WeTV? Huh. Well, anyway, it stars Ray J and the late, great Joan Rivers (although it should be pointed out that she wasn’t late when this parody was filmed). It’s kind of funny, particularly the part with Ray J espousing the benefits of dating a much older woman:
This being the internet, there are also plenty of lo-fi Kardashian sex tape parodies, like the following one from YouTube personality Jenna Marbles. Take a look:
I guess on that note I’ll include one lesser-known internet parody of the famous sex tape, aptly titled Kim Kardashian Sex Tape (Parody). You’ll never guess how I found it.
ANYTHING ELSE I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT KIM KARDASHIAN’S SEX TAPE?
Now that Kim Kardashian is show business royalty, you can expect her sex tape to remain in the public consciousness for a good long while. It will also remain available to the public for at least as long as the internet exists, if not a day or two later. So remember – it’s never too late to join the ongoing global conversation about Kim Kardashian’s sex tape! And if you’re thinking about making and releasing your own sex tape to give your reality TV career just the jolt it’s been waiting for, you should probably keep in mind that that kind of thing is unlikely to work more than once, unless you happen to be famous already (or somehow related to Olympic athlete Bruce Jenner).