Kid With Prosthetic Legs Takes Them Both Off To Deliver Ass Whoopin’ In The Streets

Look – I’m the first person to start bitching the minute someone in a wheelchair takes longer than .005 seconds to get their ass outta the crosswalk. Y’all eating up my time and I’m doing you a favor by resisting the urge to commit vehicular manslaughter – but if I saw this going down? Hell yeah kid, take as looooong as you want in that crosswalk as long as I get rewarded with a beat-down for my patience.

Kid Takes Off Prosthetic Legs For Fight

A post shared by Derrick Lewis (@thebeastufc) on

Handicapable goddamn! The only thing missing out of this video is the kid scootin’ backwards to grab his legs so he can whoop that ass again with some pipes. Frankly, the legs were holding him back. We need to take prosthetic legs away from every amputee in the country and put them into a fighting ring to see which ones make it out alive. Well, “need” is a strong word – “ABSOLUTELY need” is stronger.

Kid Takes Off Prosthetic Legs For Fight: Give ‘Em All Trophies

And I know we all hate participation trophies, but we gotta give one to the kid who got his ass kicked. Yes, he got it kicked by a dude who was literally three feet shorter than he was, but agreeing to fight a handicapped kid is real bravery these days. On one hand, if he wins he beat up a fucking handicapped kid, and on the other if he loses he got beat up by a kid who doesn’t have any fucking legs – basically, it’s a lose-lose situation, and on the off-chance he tells someone about the time he fought a handicapped kid they’re going to think he sounds like a real douchebag without any decent context. Besides, he was being a real nice guy by not immediately kicking shorty in the face. Get it? KICKING him in the face…with his legs…that the other kid doesn’t have…I’ll show myself out.