Kid Gets Away With Deaths Because He’s Wealthy

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Dec. 13, 2013

 

 

Patrick Bateman would be giving the attorneys for Ethan Couch a slow clap right now. That’s because they successfully kept their client out of jail and got him sentenced to only ten years’ probation for driving drunk and killing four people standing on the side of the road. Prosecutors had hoped to get the maximum of 20 years in prison for the 16 year old drunk driver. However they hadn’t counted on the mind blistering “Affluenza” defense. Not to be confused with “influenza” (The Flu!) – which you may feel like you have after hearing of the “brilliant” defense. Affluenza is what psychologist G. Dick Miller  argued that young Ethan suffered from; he was so wealthy and privileged and his parents spoiled him so much, that he did not understand the consequences of his actions. Basically being a wealthy kid is like being drunk all the time; you don’t know what you’re doing and can’t be held responsible for shitting on the couch! But money makes all problems go away. “So don’t worry bro, I’ll buy you a new couch!” If you have money, got drunk like Ethan and killed someone you might want to get G. Dick Miller on your defense team:

 Sounds like you may not “all be equally worthless” after all. Instead of getting ridden in prison, Ethan is going to get to ride horses in a posh rehab facility. Must be nice! What about the psychological damage we are all receiving from listening to G. Dick Miller explain “Affluenza?” So how do you guys feel about Ethan Couch? Did he get the punishment he deserves or is there “a separate legal system for rich people?”

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