Kenny G To Break A World Record By Driving A Plane Full Of People Insane

Ani’t nuthin’ but a Kenny G Thang, right?

Kenny G has been playing his way into our hearts since… Sorry, we can’t keep this charade up any longer. Kenny G makes us hurt with actual physical pain when we hear his “music”. The guy should get his ass kicked by Barry Manilow. Or Yanni.

Okay, we may have gone too far on that one.

Anyway, for those Kenny G fans out there, the Songbird saxophonist set a Guinness World Record in 1997 by holding a note on his sax for 45 minutes. Also known as the longest 45 minutes not involving waterboarding.

Just kidding. It’s known as the longest 45 minutes of all time. Period.

Well, strap in, because if you didn’t think that was long enough (that’s what she said!), Kenny G agrees with you. He recently said that he has a plan to break his own record: “…I’m going to try to partner with a particular airline, and we’re going to do it on one of their flights that lasts over an hour. I’m going to try to hold a note for the whole flight.”

Dear. God. In. Heaven.

First of all, let’s back up. Is this even possible to do? Apparently it is and is done via a technique called circular breathing. It lets the “blower” breath through the nose and keep the air moving out through the mouth. Rumor has it, that technique has been perfected for centuries (wink, wink).

The G-Man also plans to raise money from businesses by doing this in order to donate to music in school programs… so congratulations, Third Graders.

Kenny G did say that the last time he did this, his fingers cramped up pretty bad from gripping the sax and pressing the keys so hard, and his lips also became swollen.

“I iced my lips for a couple of hours and I was ready to go again,” he stated.

We’re now icing our brains from the pressure of holding back all the jokes we need to make right now.

So back to our original train of thought – if we had one: If you get on a flight and Kenny G is on it, immediately say you are a terrorist and get yourself detained. You’ll be glad you did.

And since the flight will need to be at least under an hour long to set the new record, if you are planning a quick trip to your parents’ house over the weekend because those short flights are so cheap, perhaps walking would be in order.

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