Joaquin Phoenix Tries to Bang His iPhone

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Dec. 02, 2013

In the new Spike Jones film Her Joaquin Phoenix plays a man who falls in love with this cell phone. Now I know most of you are “in love” with your phones and never put the things down. But you really have to watch this insane WTF trailer to believe it: he LOOOOVES his phone, like wants to marry it and make little, hipster Joaquin Nano’s with it.

When I saw this trailer in the theater, the best part was when the phone (played by a sultry voiced Scarlett Johansson) says “How would you touch me?” and the whole audience groaned. (I’m assuming they groaned out of jealousy?) Man, and you thought Anthony Weiner's phone was stinky (zing).  I was pondering last week if it was OK to bang a robot, but the guy who once faked having a mental break down takes things to a whole new level. Can you imagine what it would be like in the near future having a relationship with Siri? You have to scream everything five times for it to understand you and they still get it wrong. “Where should I eat?!” Siri: “Would you like me to cut off your feet!?” So I guess not much different than a typical date actually.  What if they start making other “Smart” appliances; pretty soon guys are going to try and start banging their toasters. This won’t end well for humanity. So will you guys watch Her or stay home and have a quite romantic candle lit evening your phone?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

5 comments
l30NER
l30NER User

His phone transforms into a fleshlight and they live happily ever after... The End.

LlewSilver
LlewSilver User

This is really just a remake of "Electric Dreams" from 1984 except they are taking it a step further and also trying to make it a romance/drama rather than a comedy.  Not sure how well that is going to work out for them.  It's "funny" to think about a computer-human relationship, but to try and make it all serious??  That's almost as crazy as casting Ben Affleck as Batman.  Oh Wait, they did that too, didn't they?

gab_g_14
gab_g_14 User

What the actual fuck

eat_a_dick_bitch
eat_a_dick_bitch User

This shit is fucking twisted. This world is getting so fucked up.