Married Teacher Arrested For Sex With Student, Romanced With Candles And Condoms

They say romance is dead, but chivalry is alive and well as long as you’re an eight or above. You know that, I know that, the virgin next door knows that – but we somehow neglected to inform Jennifer Frechette, a Connecticut high school drama teacher who was arrested after accusations that she’d had sex with one of her students came to light.

You see, not only was Frechette accused of having sex with a high school student, but she was even caught in a dressing room with the unnamed boy, along with a blow-up bed, tea light candles and condoms. Frechette, as you can see, is not an eight or above:

And since the student is a minor, we’re not allowed to decide where he ranks on the hot scale, because technically he does not exist on it for legal purposes (I may be a self-proclaimed pervert, but I draw the line at pedophilia.) Therefore, someone needs to send out a memo, smoke signal or whatever people use to communicate these days and let Frechette know that she is doing WAY too much to win this kid over. All you really need is a bag of cool ranch Doritos and…well, you don’t even need that. Literally just offer to blow any 15 to 17-year-old kid and the answer will never be “No.” Fuck the candles and blow-up bed, get used to humping on the wall in the dark if you’re trying to play life cheap.

According to Daily Mail, two security guards working at Wilbur Cross High School walked in on Frechette and the unnamed student during their “romantic” rendezvous. Upon discovery, the teen reportedly left and acted like it was no big deal, which would’ve totally worked had Frechette not been almost immediately discovered hiding “in a fetal position” further inside. The easiest way to brush the situation off would’ve been for Frechette to say they were rehearsing for a romantic scene in the school play, but Frechette is not a rocket scientist – she’s a drama teacher. In fact you don’t even have to be a rocket scientist to be good at lying, just smart enough to not bang your students and WHOOPS looks like she’s already failed that requirement.

Frechette initially denied anything was going on, however the student blew her cover by telling investigators that the pair had “exchanged text messages about having sex and had planned to do so the night they were caught,” as well as that “Frechette performed oral sex on him on a couch inside of her classroom.” And just for the sake of driving the knife in deeper, the student’s phone reportedly had text messages between him and Frechette discussing how she was no longer attracted to her husband.

If you’re underage you can’t legally consent to sex with an adult. But it’s situations like these that make me wonder if the kids don’t like what’s going on and tell police what’s up because they want out, or if they only spill the beans because they don’t know their rights. When in doubt: shut the fuck up. When not in doubt: still shut the fuck up because you’re not as smart as you think you are.

“The care and safety of students is the top priority for New Haven Public Schools. A breach of that responsibility by any staff member is cause for concern. The arrest of a New Haven teacher on allegations of sexual assault and risk of injury is deeply troubling.’ Interim Superintendent of Schools Reginald Mayo said in a statement. 

Frechette was arrested on April 13th and charged with second-degree sex assault, fourth degree sex assault and risk of injury to a minor. She was released Monday after posting a $100,000 surety bond.