White Stripes vs Black Keys: Jack White Throws Down in Bar

Jack White is a zany sort of character.  If he wasn’t a real man, Johnny Depp would have already created him for a movie role.  In keeping with his somewhat unpredictable persona, he really has a hate on for the band the Black Keys.  Is it just because the name sounds like they’re supposed to be the opposite of the White Stripes?  Or that together they’d make a superband called Piano?  Hard to say.  But White does have a history of hating the band and accusing them of copying his style, and even going so far as to email his ex-wife about not letting their kids go to the same school as the Black Keys’ lead singer’s kids so he doesn’t have to go to school functions and sit near the man.

This weekend at a bar in New York, the secretary forget to send the kids home with a note and White ended up in the same place at the same time as the Black Keys’ drummer.  What’s a man to do?  Fight.  That’s what a man does.  He fights the drummer of the band he hates.

Patrick Carney, the aforementioned drummer, says he was in a bar with friends when Jack White came in.  He’d never met jack White in his life at this point, so we have to assume Jack White carries around a folder or some kind of e-version of a manifesto against the Black Keys that he can quickly peruse for reference when he thinks he sees one of the band members out in public.  Because how the hell else would he even know he was in a bar with the drummer for the Black Keys?  The lead singer of the Black Keys probably wouldn’t know his drummer was in the bar if someone didn’t point him out.

According to Carney, White decided the two of them should fight because music?  No one knows.  Carney didn’t know and White isn’t talk so far.  This is all gleaned from Carney’s Twitter feed, who goes on to say White was just really angry and he didn’t know why, and also that he (Carney) is just a musician.  He never fought before, never wanted to fight, and was a nerd in highschool who liked playing music as a way to get away from bullies.  And now jack White is his bully, which is some kind of meta-insane when you look at Jack White because if that dude wasn’t a pasty, skinny kid getting bullied all day in highschool too, then no one was.  Apparently we all grow into the thing we hate.

Carney went on to call White the walking version of Billy Corgan’s dumb ass Zero shirt, which is a nice shot at both White and Billy Corgan.  Although you might say Carney was bullying Corgan with that one.  Oh snap, you do it too! 

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“Aww, why am I still being made fun of?”

Later on after the story was reported, White did have a reply to the comments stating he never tried to fight Carney, never bullied him, he simply asked him a question for which he didn’t have an answer that caused him to walk away.  So basically it sounds like some whiny BS drama between two grown men who make a ton of money just to play music all day and who should have the decency and intelligence to not get caught up in any of this kind of grade school crap and just do what they do like mature, normal adults.  Of course, the day mature, normal adults become famous musicians is a day too far off for us to speculate about.