Italian Couple Has Sex In Ocean And Gets Stuck Together

This sounds like one of those urban legends young teens tell each other when they are learning about sex and aren’t exactly sure how it all works just yet. Did you hear about the guy and girl who did it and got stuck together!? “My older brother knew a guy this happened to!”

This looks painful.

Well it turns out that this can apparently happen outside of late night slumber party story time. An Italian couple found this out the hard way when they were having sex in the ocean and the man was unable to extract his Italian sausage. The man and woman’s genitals were stuck together from the suction made by the ocean salt water. Sounds like this Casanova won’t be running off in the morning.

Another Italian guy known to get stuck laying some pipe.

The unnamed man and woman who we will think of as both insanely attractive humans and call them “Giovanni” and “Francesca” – decided to get a little frisky while swimming in Porto San Giorgio. The beach was not very crowded that day and they had plenty of privacy for “Giovanni” to give “Francesca” his hot Italian loaf.   Turns out they should have just done the breast stroke.

After being stuck for a bit, the couple was able to flag down a passerby on the beach who was able to give them a towel as they came out of the water still naked and stuck together. Like a pornographic three legged race the couple made their way to the hospital where things only got weirder. I’m still not exactly sure how this works; wouldn’t Giovanni’s manhood shrivel up like an old anchovy? Not for this Italian stallion who needed medical intervention to stop having sex with his amante.  

New Reality Show: Naked And Stuck Together

In the hospital emergency room doctors gave the woman an injection which is normally used during child birth to dilate the uterus in order for her lady business to unclamp poor “Giovanni.” And then I would assume everyone in the hospital had a post coital cigarette after the ordeal. When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore; When your genitals become stuck together while having sex in the ocean, that’s horrific!

Has anything like this ever happened to you? (And not your “brother’s friend from camp.”)

UPDATE: while I had already sourced this content above, since many of you are questioning the authenticity of this story, HERE again is the link to the original Italian news site in English.  In addition HERE is the local Italian website for any of you who speak Italian and are willing to do some Internet sleuthing.  So argue if it’s fake, however we didn’t just “make this up.” Unless of course Break secretly has an office full of writers in an ocean side town in Italy; in which case I’m going to be very angry as I sit here smelling musty farts.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney