Sharknado, arguably the biggest film of the year, if not ever, aired on the SyFy channel this week and the entire world fell in love with its absurd premise and terrible, terrible production value. But this isn’t the first time a film like this has been made. SyFy and production studio, The Asylum, have been doing this for years. You’ve missed out on some incredibly hilarious and bad films and these are the ones you need to catch up on ASAP.
“It wasn’t any explosion. It wasn’t terrorists. It was giant piranha.” Mutated piranhas escape the waters of South America and attack the United States. Somehow, this mutation has given them the ability to fly and a thirst for a human apocalypse. Nothing here makes sense and nothing looks good and that’s why we say go get this now!
100 years after the first Titanic’s ill-fated voyage, the Titanic II sets the same course. But then… a tsunami hurls waves and a large iceberg their way and OH GOD IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN! And just like the first time, the woman says, “I’ll never let go,” then immediately lets her dead lover go. Romance!
2-Headed Shark Attack
Beaches, babes, boobies… a shark with two heads! A classic tale of a mutated shark that attacks a group of young, sexy college students who just wanted to party. Sadly, the filmmakers failed to give us the shark’s point-of-view of the attacks. Maybe the father of one of the students was the reason it was mutated? Or its mother was killed by an evil human? Just poor storytelling in this one.
Nazis At The Center Of The Earth
Researchers discover an underground continent that is home to Nazi zombies ready to take over the world. That’s all you need to know.
Nothing really wrong here. This just looks adorable.
500 MPH Storm
Starship Trooper‘s Casper Van Dien stars in this action thriller about an energy experience gone wrong that creates a “hypercane.” What’s a “hypercane?” The awesomest pile of bullshit ever!
If you have a film idea for SyFy and Asylum? Good! You can actually pitch it to them here! And tell us what it is in the comments.
– Mark (follow me on twitter)