Use Breaking Bad Spoilers to Blackmail Your Friends

PhilHaney by PhilHaney on Aug. 18, 2013

With the final episodes of Breaking Bad off and running there is only one question on every fan’s mind: How can I blackmail my friends who haven’t yet caught up watching the latest season 5 and are still making their way through season 4?  Just like Walter White AKA Heisenberg YOU can manipulate friends and family to achieve your own, twisted desires.  Here’s how:

 

I am the one who is all caught up on the latest season of Breaking Bad!”

 

First find a “friend” still on Season Three of Breaking Bad who says things like “Oh man that Gus Fring sure is an awesome character, I hope he sticks around until the end of the series.”

 

Next, explain to them that unless they give you what you want you will RUIN Breaking Bad for them by revealing SPOILERS. This should illicit a look of shock and dismay that someone whom they thought to be a nice, kind hearted friend, has such a callous, cold and calculating mind.

 

Then demand that they give you something of monetary and/ or personal value that they have and you want. No. That YOU deserve. It’s yours!  This could be the last slice of pizza, all the money in his wallet, a can of beer, or sex with that Brazilian girl he has been banging. You are more worthy of these riches than he is! You earned it! Be the one who knocks!

 

Lastly if they still refuse your reasonable demands, simply blurt out spoilers for the show, such as *JESSE IS A TRANNY and scream “You just got Heisenberged!”

 

The Heisenberg - Breaking Bad Game is not just for Breaking Bad. This works well for any super popular show that people are catching up on via DVD and streaming video; Game of Thrones, Dexter, Dora The Explorer, you name it.  You just need to find the right show to leverage your television blackmail. Just think; What Would Walter Do?

 

“Say my name, say my name! If no one is around you say baby I love you.”

While this game works well with episodic dramas, it’s not so good with standalone shows and sitcoms. Nobody is forking over their Play Station 4 to find out if Theo finally moves out of the Cosby house and starts eating baloney sandwiches.

I am the one who eats the Jell-O Puddin’ Pops!”

 

*Jesse is not a Tranny.

 

Follow me on Twitter @PhilHaney

4 comments
TheWord
TheWord User

It may be the last season of breaking bad but there is going to be a spinoff with Jesse after he kills Walt in the final episode.


Now who just got Heisenberged!

BEERSLAYER101
BEERSLAYER101 User

I've already been doing this since 2009. Only 3 friends left but it's the last season anyway so fuck it. :)

WatchingWaiting
WatchingWaiting

Must have been a slow break article idea day, huh Phil.