How The Break Audience Would Use NeverWet

Mark-Potts by Mark-Potts on Jun. 19, 2013

We posted the NeverWet product demonstration yesterday and you guys really liked it. Why wouldn't you? A product that lets you spill mustard all over yourself and not stain your clothes? AMAZING! But the Break audience had some other ideas and thoughts about how to use NeverWet that we thought warranted discussion.

1. Political Scandal Deterrent

It's true. If Bill Clinton had sprayed Monica Lewinsky with NeverWet, then her infamous dress wouldn't have existed, and he could have easily gotten away with getting a hummer in the Oval Office. Oh wait, he did. However, I do love that potential scenario:

Monica - So, Mr. President, you want me to polish your Washington Monument?

Clinton - That sounds real good. But first, let me spray you with this stuff just in case my spray goes crazy.

Monica - Uh, okay...

 

2. Put It On Your Car, Clothes, and License It To Phone Makers

I figure we all thought this while watching the video. Why is this company selling cans of this for $20 when it could license it to car, clothes, and electronics manufacturers for millions? They could, but it'd be a waste of money.

Popular Mechanics points out that it's called a "treatment" because it isn't permanent. It eventually wears off depending on the amount of use. It is concerning that NeverWet hasn't discussed how long the treatments last based on their experiments. If I go to a baseball game and eat hot dogs the entire time, does one coating before the first inning protect me against mustard the whole time? Do I need to reapply after a few innings? How much mustard is too much mustard for NeverWet technology?!?!

 

3. Pooping Made Easy

If you want to spray stuff in your butt, be my guest. I'm out.

 

4. STD Prevention

Honestly, I want to say this is a stupid idea, but I have no clue. It sounds stupid. But it is a decent question. The product creates a barrier to prevent liquid from penetrating the item that's been sprayed. In theory, the penis or vagina could be protected. However, NeverWet doesn't prevent oils from getting through, so that is an issue. Also, the product does give whatever is sprayed a suede-like texture, and I can't imagine men or women would enjoy that feeling.

WARNING: I'm not a doctor. Apply NeverWet to your junk at your own risk.

 

4. Drench Yourself In Pepsi

Weird.

 

5. Get Cancer

While there is no proof that NeverWet gives you cancer, some of you are already concerned about the side effects. I'd bet good money that the product is completely tested for dangerous chemicals and compounds before its release. Companies care about people and would never do anything to harm them because companies are people, too.

However, this guy gets it:

 

5. Spray It On Women

Many of you went there. Your first thoughts went to porn, women, and moneyshots (interesting that so many of you think about semen all the time. ZING! Just kidding, I do too).


Imagining baby gack just hitting and sliding off a pornstar's face is kind of funny though. Just "plop, slide, plop, slide."

There are pluses and minuses with this thought. It seems kind of disrespectful to spray women with superhydrophobic repellant just for the sake of popping your Go-Gurt on her. Be classy, men. On the other hand, clean up is super easy.

Do you have any other ideas for how to use this product? Let us know!

- Mark (follow my superhydrophobic twitter account)

19 comments
werta669
werta669 User

Companies don't care about what happens to you, they only care about money and their family/self. Just look at the Tobacco company, they've been selling cigarette's for YEARS and yet they still exist. People will use items regardless of the harm it'll bring.

Meje
Meje User

Jennifer-Daniels-989 wants to spray it on her penis?  What?!

theGreenLight
theGreenLight

I'll spray it on the inside of my jizz sock.

SHlTTER
SHlTTER User

If you covered a fat guy, he would drown from his own sweat build up.

fibreop
fibreop User

Quote:  "Companies care about people and would never do anything to harm them because companies are people, too."

Lol, I guess you've never heard of Monsanto's... GMO foods?  Cancer?  You get the drift yes? 

TheeAthis
TheeAthis User

So, like I stated earlier. Spray this stuff on, and basically, ANY DNA evidence bounces off.....hmmm....I'll stop the suggestions right there.

whatinitheworld
whatinitheworld UserTop Commenter

Hey, what about spraying your dog to avoid that nasty wet smell after he is done playing in the water?

MadMax740
MadMax740 User

I would definitely spray it all over my monitor and keyboard just in case I can't reach the tissue box in time...

The-Langolier
The-Langolier UserTop Commenter

One step closer to a comment of the week section is always a good thing.

smoke1383
smoke1383 User

Mark, I approve of the above article.  Since you have done a good job I am giving you a raise from $8.25/hr to $8.75/hr.  Congratulations.

synweb77
synweb77 User

Classic break.  They don't give credit where it is due.  I made the first Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky joke about this and they give credit to the two copy cats. 

TheDeadBaron
TheDeadBaron User

It could lead to the most disappointing wet t-shirt contests ever though too... :(

Mark-Potts
Mark-Potts moderator User

@smoke1383 My pay isn't the only thing getting a raise now. Check out my pants! Thanks for the compliment. I'll forward this suggestion onto my boss.

Mark-Potts
Mark-Potts moderator User

@synweb77 Sorry, sir. If you look at the timestamps on the comments. Buttrocket-McGee beat you by an hour.

whatinitheworld
whatinitheworld UserTop Commenter

@TheDeadBaron finally someone shines light in a very important matter. Thank you Mr. TheDeadBaron, your vision is commendable