How Much Can You Take? Ms. Voice Has Awful Voice, Nice Bras

Earnest-Pettie by Earnest-Pettie on Jul. 12, 2013

“The Voice of America. I gonna save the US music industry!!!” That’s how Ms. Voice describes herself on her Youtube channel. Apparently, the voice of America barely speaks English, and it occupies a pitch somewhere between injured dog and crying baby. She’s the product of our generation’s being raised with more talent shows than talent on TV. She just released a new music video that features her trademark warbling and playing around with bras. This week’s endurance challenge is to make it through this video. Feel free to bail whenever you want, but when you do, check out the legend below to see what your departure point says about you.

:10 You’re a genius! You’ve realized that, no, this isn’t porn or even some elaborate cam chick video, and you’re out. We salute you.

:10-:35 You’re a scholar. You spent these precious seconds attempting to determine whether she was speaking English. Once you finally realized that she was speaking English, that made the video worse, and you bailed.

:35 - :49 You’re a record industry executive. Listening to this chorus you realized that you just figured out the answer to music piracy: Release worse music. You just left to go make more money. I hate you.

:49 - 1:03 You have an inquisitive mind. You held on through the rest of this verse hoping to see a second shot of her playing with her kitty. Then the chorus smacked you in the side of the head, and you bailed. Too bad.

1:03 - 1:27 You're disappointed. You hoped... but just realized that, no, this isn't the Russian mail-order bride you ordered that never showed up. You just switched to email to talk to someone in Russia about reversing those credit card charges.

1:27 You’re a Break Editor, and you got your screenshot of her boyfriend covering his ears in a last-ditch attempt to shut her voice out once and for all. Good work.

1:27 - 1:39 You’re dumber than a Break Editor. You continued past 1:27, and wandered right into the godawful bridge. You’ll be having flashbacks to this moment for years to come. Your bad.

1:39 - 2:07 You must work for the State Department. You spent the whole video insisting that there were boobs present but that they were just hidden. After searching and searching, you finally admit that they were never there in the first place.

2:07 - 2:30 You’re a stubborn fool, but your stubbornness has paid off. You’ve seen a few more shots of her playing with her kitty, and now it’s off to the comments to make the obvious puns.

2:30 You’re a born loser, a perennial victim. A lifetime of being cyberbullied has allowed you to endure computer-based assault. We’re sorry... but congratulations?

2:30 - 2:40 You’re brain dead, and it’s our fault. I mean, it’s not our fault. Your next-of-kin will never be able to prove that we’re responsible for your vegetative state. 

 

Earnest (Follow me on Twitter @earnestp)

39 comments
legacy27
legacy27 User

Justin Bieber really let himself go.

Vrani-El-537
Vrani-El-537 User

i only made it to 0:57 then the fapping was complete.

emokid666
emokid666

Fuck i can't believe i saw heard the whole thing

bigdawg76
bigdawg76 User

my dogs come over and began howling....guess that is a sign.

123abcasdf
123abcasdf UserTop Commenter

is he/she a he/she?

Kahlandad
Kahlandad User

All those bras and barely anything to put in them... what a shame.

Kcqo-10
Kcqo-10

I found the lyrics and the video to be worse than her voice. My neighbor has a voice that will make you cringe so yeah, this woman's voice is nothing compared to my neighbor.

Alaska17
Alaska17 User

Made it through the whole thing: As smart as any Break Staff Member

whitedevil2
whitedevil2 User

what's the scale for hitting the repeat button and putting this as my ringtone and at the top of my playlist?

Kenneth-Howell-588
Kenneth-Howell-588 User

Charismatic! Beautiful voice! Nice keyboard work! Thank you!

ispewmalarkey
ispewmalarkey User

I watched the WHOLE thing! Albeit on mute, but I WATCHED the whole thing!  fap.

lawlessness
lawlessness User

This is exactly what men run away from after they tapped it. 

Mael99
Mael99 User

In a country that made superstars of Justin Bieber, Kim & Kanye, and Nicki Manaj, yes, she is destined to be a HUGE celebrity with more money than she could ever use.

I weep for our future.

ceprn
ceprn User

I'd do her.

tHeLAwR66
tHeLAwR66

There should have been one more category.. 2:25   Peverts.. sticking it out to the last possible moment for the slightest chance of a possible wardwrobe malfunction.. just so they could heckle her malnourished  cracker and water diet to maintain her thoughroughbred form..

Kevin-Parnell-685
Kevin-Parnell-685 User

From her BIO on her website (you can't make this shit up...or can she)

Ms Voice was born on September 25 in Siberia where she got her exotic look, great talent and unique voice. Her singing talent was noticed at an early age.  At the age of 7 she won at a local singing competition with the song "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston.  This was the beginning of her great music career.  When she was 8 she started studying at a music college and began songwriting.  Her first song "About" won at a local singing-songwriting competition.  And Ms Voice got a Grand Prix.  After college at the age of 16 she  moved to Moscow and signed in to the music conservatory where she made new friends in the music industry. They helped her to record and release her debut album "Cheers." It was sold over 1 million copies  and Ms Voice  become  Russian Mariah Carey. Then she moved to the US with her family and one day she met her icon  Whitney Houston on a private party and gave her a demo CD. Later Whitney told to Ms Voice: "I like your vibe and your voice. But the material does't quit do it to me Keep writing and send more if you'd like..." Her next song "Compicated" become the hit. Whitney helped Ms Voice to make a few connections in the US music industry. Now Ms Voice lives at Upper East side of Manhattan and working on her first platinum album. She owns a beautiful penthouse, 3 cars and a private jet. She also owns a house at Hamptons.  She is the close friend of Madonna, Alicia Keys, Ne-Yo and Justin Timberlake's family. She considers herself a celebrity and the next big thing in the US show business industry. So now it's just a question of time...

mustangman6799
mustangman6799 User

I want to see her turn into a visor next time.  My favorite part was when the dude covered his ears miming SHUT!THE!FUCK!UP! and all she wants to do is talk.  I feel your pain, blood.

Dockavorkian
Dockavorkian User

Fuck these retarded ads! Break is a useless shit place cram packed with ads and video's robbed from other sites. Back to liveleak,com where there are NO fucking ads!!!!

TheeAthis
TheeAthis User

Why Break?....why??.....you sadistic bastards!


paskari
paskari User

I fell in love at 0:02

Lacimeh
Lacimeh User

I just paused it at :02.


iduno2much
iduno2much User

watched the whole video.... on mute

Cool-Jon-1
Cool-Jon-1 User

I made it to 1:26, but only because the video stopped.

MadMax740
MadMax740 User

I made it to 26 seconds. The sad part is the fact Break was actually right about something, I really was trying to figure out if she was singing in English or not...

Sethisto-Scootaloo-127
Sethisto-Scootaloo-127

Random person on youtube with 86 subscribers makes a  video singing and thinking shes great at it.  That is pretty much 70% of youtube.  Why is this on break again? :P

ispewmalarkey
ispewmalarkey User

@Dockavorkian  Yahoo news vids are worse. They MAKE you watch a 30 second commercial before the news clip, then, if you want to watch the clip again, you must sit through the commercial again. 

blindsight
blindsight User

@Dockavorkian - You really see ads on this site?  I haven't seen an ad in years... oh yeah, I came prepared. You might want to look into ways to rid yourself of the ads.