Hot Russian Spy Was Sent To Seduce Edward Snowden

Everyone’s favorite NSA classified information leaker, Edward Snowden might have had the chance to reveal more than just state secrets while he is in exile in Russia. According to a former KGB agent who is totally not a character from a Cold War era cartoon, named Boris Karpichkov, the Russian government sent Anna Chapman known as the sexy “real life Bond Girl” to seduce Snowden in order to keep him in Moscow and find out more American intel. That’s a lot better than the other interrogation option which was involuntary horseback riding with shirtless Vladimir Putin.

Dude, just give her Obama’s phone number. Come on!

You might remember Chapman when it was revealed in 2010 that she and a “Russian cell” of spies were living in America. She was working as a real estate agent before the plot was uncovered and she was deported back to Mother Russia, but not before her sweet, sexy pics went viral. Dosvedanya! – I don’t know what that means, but seeing her makes me say it.

I know how to get extra cheesy bread for free; does Russia want to know what secret?

Here’s the thing; maybe don’t send someone in to seduce a target if that someone is already famous for being a “sexy spy.”  ‘Ussia!  Once her glamor shots were all over American and Russian media it kind of ruined her effectiveness in the spy department. That would kind of be like hiring a new computer IT Guy for your company so you can spy on your employees – and Edward Snowden shows up to the office ready to work on a few laptops.

In Russia, you create your own torture.

If Snowden hadn’t been a computer “hacker” geek and had reached into his inner Sean Connery-James Bond he could have shown Chapman his diplomatic cable only to later flee the country.

Bro, you can give her one secret, America will forgive you. Just one won’t hurt.

Chapman, who only met Snowden in person once, even tweeted at Snowden with “Will you marry me?” Karpichkov says the American was concerned that if he took the marriage offer he would then be a Russian citizen – and need permission to leave the country. Russian mail order brides aren’t even this aggressive.

What happened to Siberia? Now Russia “makes” you have sex with a hot chick in order to get information out? Oooh no you got me Russia! Besides that International Man of Mystery Snowden gets plenty of quality tail when he’s not fleeing from the United States Government.  His longtime girlfriend Lindsay Mills is a dancer who he left back in Hawaii and was recently reunited with last summer in Russia. Let’s hope that this saga continues and these two ladies get into the World War III of catfights over Snowden. Boom!

Source: NY Post

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