Hitler Apparently Had A Really Tiny Swastika If You Know What We Mean

If you’re over a certain age, you may recall a dirty playground song with the key lyric being “Hitler had only one ball.” If not, here it is in all its out of tune glory.

If you’re going to have only one ball however, better it be near a decent sized weinershnitzel. According to newly disclosed research from the book “Hitler’s Last Day: Minute by Minute,” he was cursed down there as well. “Hitler himself is believed to have had two forms of genital abnormality: an undescended testicle and a rare condition called penile hypospadias in which the urethra opens on the under side of the penis.”

This led to a flurry of global stories that stated he had a micropenis, which is exactly what you would think it is from the country that brought you the VW Microbus. However, one of the authors of the book doesn’t think that’s necessarily true.


From The Independent: “In an email interview with The Independent, Ms. Craigie urged caution surrounding the reports, saying that any suggestion he had a micro-penis because he potentially suffered from hypospadias was a “leap” and that she had not seen any evidence to suggest anything more than general hypospadias…this means more of the penis is fused to the body, meaning in some instances it can appear smaller.”


Look, we all want Hitler to have suffered for being the worst person of the 20th Century, but this one might just be a myth, as other studies point to him having two balls.


Other studies have said that he took bull semen to be more virile, others said he died a virgin, and others say he was gay.


All we know for sure is that he had a terrible mustache and was a freakin’ jerk.


Regardless, it sure if great to hear how many personal problems he potentially suffered during his career as the worst human being ever.

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