With the day Marty McFly famously time travels to Hill Valley in the year 2015 to prevent a great disaster in his future fast approaching (October 21st), we can’t help but wonder why did Marty and Doc spend more time screwing up their own lives instead of using the Delorean for good. Seriously, for three movies Marty used a time machine to go on a date with his mom, get hit by a car, let his greed ruin his future, accidentally send Doc to 1885 (which led to his death), all just to end back up in Hill Valley like nothing happened. What a friggin’ waste.
So here are a few places and people we wish Marty and Doc could go back in time to help for the greater good with some more serious than others. If you’ve got a time machine, you might as well use it instead of visiting your same home town over and over again. That actually sounds like our worst nightmare.
1. Marty time travels to Tiananmen Square to stop the protests.
The 1989 protest in China ends after Marty and Doc take matters into their own hands. When you see that many tanks against one person, you do what you gotta do to save them, including driving your car right into one of the tanks, even though the man in front was never harmed.
2. Marty time travels to stop the Star Wars prequels.
No one likes the prequels and frankly we sort of wish they just never existed. Cue Marty McFly setting his Delorean to visit the late 90’s when A Phantom Menace was being filmed to completely hault the production.
3. Marty And Doc chill everyone out at the LA Riots with his new song “Shake It Off”.
The infamous Los Angeles riots of 1992 which began after the Rodney King verdict was announced lasted for six days. But if Marty had shown up to play the crowds a new song he wrote called “Shake It Off” followed by “Call Me Maybe”, everyone would have realized that further violence wasn’t the answer and just turned the riots into a big party instead.
4. Marty and Doc try to break up John & Yoko
Sure, John Lennon came up with some great music during his solo period but he came up with even better music during his time with The Beatles. If only that Yoko wasn’t around to drive a wedge! So Marty and Doc decide to travel back to the 70’s, stop John and Yoko on the street and try to drive their own wedge. This act would also reset the course of John Lennon’s life and more than likely prevent his murder.
5. Marty’s high speed chase with Hitler ends with Hitler covered in manure.
No historical figure deserves to be covered in sh*t more than Adolf Hitler. And Marty McFly is the guy to do it. After leading Hitler’s entourage into a truck filled with manure, Marty freaks the crowd out by flying through on his hoverboard, leading the Nazi party to believe that all Americans have magical abilities.
6. Marty joins the cops to end the O.J. Simpson white Bronco chase.
The most famous police chase in history could’ve ended a lot sooner. Sure, the Delorean isn’t necessarily faster than a cop car, but those cops weren’t really gunning it either. Marty could’ve literally time hopped in front of the Bronco and dragged OJ out of the car to finally give America the explanation we all deserved on that day.
7. Marty and Doc give Kennedy safer transportation in Texas.
Here’s an idea, let’s NOT put the President on the back of a cadillac in gun-loving Texas. Marty and Doc travel back to not only put John F. Kennedy in a much safer car with a metal top, but also one that can fly OVER the crowd. Also just the site of a floating vehicle would make any gunman abort their mission.
8. Marty escorts a stumble-free Jennifer Lawrence to accept her Oscar
If there’s one thing you can say about McFly, he’s a true gentlemen. Amongst saving Presidents from assassination and dumping manure on dictators, Marty McFly always finds the time to help out a woman in need. Also if you notice, Doc Brown scored tickets to the show because why the hell not.
9. Marty stops the Vietnam War (especially this moment from happening)
If Marty McFly can time travel with only the aid of a well-timed lightning bolt as his only means, pretty sure he and Doc are smart enough to end a war, especially this moment between a Vietcong officer and South Vietnamese General. Nguyen Ngoc Loan. This moment was captured on film and popularized on every news station during 1968 as one of the many brutal moments involved in The Vietnam War. That is unless Marty was there to stop it from happening.
10. Marty and Doc keep the Titanic afloat thanks to the Delorean.
Sure, the Titanic weighed over 52,000 tons but science also tells us a car can’t fly so let’s just bend our imagination on this one. After the Titanic struck an iceberg in 1912, 1,503 people died. So, Marty and Doc decide to travel back to that fateful evening, strap some cables to the tail end of their Delorean and keep that sucker afloat until they reach New York City. Free champagne for all!
11. Marty prevents Lamar Odom from visiting The Bunny Ranch.
Thankfully, Lamar Odom is alive but his health scare is far from over. However that doesn’t mean we still don’t regret having to hear about this news story over and over again for the past week. It would’ve been great if Marty could make a quick trip to Las Vegas and talk some sense into Lamar Odom to keep him from visiting the Ranch and especially from taking all those drugs and boner pills.
Now that the odds of us getting a fourth Back to the Future film is about as possible as getting a time travelling Delorean, we now realize all of the time wasted in the original three films. You are one selfish teen, Marty. But we love ya!