The Most Internet Kid In The World Wants Laser Cat Yearbook Photo


You like the internet, right?  You’re totally using it right now.  Would you like it to be inextricably tied to a formative part of your development as a human being as well?  Maybe through the use of mildly amusing photo memes that were popular several years ago?  Sure you would.

Draven Rodriguez is like you, in that he wants his yearbook photo to represent his true self, from his “The Crow” inspired first name (don’t think we didn’t catch that, Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez), to his love of cats and bad Photoshop effects which is why he started a preemtpive petition to stop the school from banning the photo of himself and his cat Mr. Bigglesworth, even though they never stated they’d ban it in the first place.  It’s good that he’s learned piousness and a false sense of victimization at an early age.

For their part, the Schenectady High School are on board with the ludicrous photo, just not in the portrait section.  Rodriguez has accepted that anywhere in the yearbook is a decent compromise for it as he’s been planning this since his junior year which is obvious since everything is so terribly outdated now, even his cat’s name, but then again that’s kind of what yearbooks celebrate.

Pictured: All of Draven’s favorite things from 2014

As for reasons why any person would so desperately want to be remembered as the laser cat boy, Rodriguez said he didn’t want to have a generic picture that looked like everyone else’s, he wants to be remember as “ridiculous” because that’s how he is.  So yes, he’s a fan of outdated comedy, has a persecution complex and singles himself out as more special and different than his peers.  We have an office pool going about how many people actually sign this kids yearbook other than teachers.

Our only hope for this story, if we need hope, is that the only thing more ridiculous than Draven Rodriguez and his senior portrait plan is the idea of senior portraits themselves.  Have you seen some of those things?  They’re getting to be like Russian wedding photos, just a bunch of nonsense that makes you feel embarrassment on someone else’s behalf.  In that regard, Rodriguez and his kitty would fit right in.  If you’re competing with images like this –

Or this –

Or this –

Or, god forbid, even this –

Then The Crow and his laser cat are pretty much par for the course.  Petition not required.  Although, if anyone from Schenectady High School are reading this, if you could replace his pic with one of him getting a wedgie, it would be both hilarious and appropriate.