High School Girl Really Thought She Was “Dead” For Over A Year

This is one of those stories you are either going to believe at face value or scream FAKE. However a 21-year-old woman claims that for over a year during high school she actually believed herself to be dead and that she was a ghost drifting through the world unseen or heard by friends and family. That, or she was just really, really unpopular.

In reality the woman who recently gave a Reddit AMA under the screen name “fishglubber”  was suffering from a mental condition known as Schizoaffective Disorder which creates delusions and hallucinations. This led to her believing she was murdered by one of her hallucinations, thus thinking she was dead. The delusion and accompanying hallucinations of thinking you are dead is known as Cotard’s Syndrome.  Cotard’s Syndrome is pretty terrifying with patients believing they have lost blood and body parts or died. One documented case is of a man who after he attempted suicide via electrocution, thought he has “killed his brain.”

Since she was a spirit she even tried, unsuccessfully to walk through walls. Ouch. On Reddit she introduced herself saying;

“For around a year and a half, I believed I was dead, and was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. I thought I had been killed by one of my hallucinations, and literally thought I was a ghost who no longer had any mental or physical form. I thought I was absolutely dead, and doomed to walk the earth in a miserable, eternal afterlife, for around a year and a half. I now am recovered, and am writing a book on my experiences with “not living.” AMA.”

She goes on to address what you are thinking: “EDIT: Proof for the haters, excerpts from my psych eval from when I was starting to recover.”

“Fishglubber” describes the spooky experience of “not living” in which she says she had a blue boyfriend who spoke to her in riddles and on taking an “evil version” of herself to the prom (whoa). She says:

“I died when my hallucination killed me. I saw my own body, lying there, dead, in the middle of the store. I looked around. More versions of me, dead, in various ways, everywhere. I saw dead people, and they were all me. It was in that moment that I “realized” that I had been murdered, my body was no more, and I was a ghost. I died in various ways, with my body from various alternate universes being pulled into that store, sometimes poisoned, sometimes stabbed, sometimes shot, sometimes decapitated, but always dead…

You think it’s trippy now, but- the hallucination who killed me was me from the future, who was consumed by her illness and wanted to stop her timeline from occurring, so she killed every version of me from any universe so she would be free.”

She also addresses a few things that might have given her pause for thought on her being “dead.” She says she was ashamed to eat or go to the bathroom as it didn’t make sense why she would need to do so while being a ghost. She now has recovered from the condition and plans on writing an autobiography on her experience, detailing the afterlife hallucinations that haunted her. She even shares one of her darkest thoughts from the book;

“I now know why they write “Rest in Peace” on tombstones. Death, at least how I experienced feelings of it, is far from peaceful at times. When you are left to haunt the earth, as I believed myself to be, you are not calm. You are not happy. You feel as though you are at war with yourself. You feel angry at your own mind, which isn’t even a tangible concept or object. “Rest in Peace” is meant to make sure that the dead go to heaven, and aren’t cursed to walk the Earth in pain and anguish.”

Do you believe her story?

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: Vocativ