Hide And Drink Your Beer Out Of This Fake Baby

The Cool Baby has the potential to revolutionize the world; or at least the world of functioning alcoholics looking for a new and creative way to drink publicly without any negative social stigma. Now they can drink their booze of choice from a small plastic baby.

I bet you didn’t know there is more than one way to make a baby. That’s because inventor/ writer and guy who you want at your party to Macgyver the beer keg when the tap breaks, Simon Phillon is trying to raise $70,000 on Kickstarter in order to manufacture his booze baby. He calls it: “An expressive, customizable, hands-free beverage insulator that looks like a baby. Drinking in public is now adorable.”

See his totally not creepy pitch here:

Who needs to start a family when the only real thing that keeps us warm and gives us unconditional love is Jack Daniels? So guys if your old lady is nagging you to have children you might want to show her the Cool Baby as an alternative to having a kid.

Instead of squirting pee on you at 5 in the morning, this baby will squirt tequila in your mouth at 5 in the morning.  The baby can hold 36 ounces of beer or liquor and the only diapers that will need changing are your own. According to the Kickstarter campaign your potential child is made from:

“The head, legs and arms are a lifelike PVC construction. For the drink-insulating torso, a simple Polyurethane foam. For the baby-body-shaped, 36oz. drink container and straw, BPA-free Polypropylene. The mouthpiece is silicone. The harness is a cotton blend. Materials we’re all familiar with, and we’ve all stuck in our mouths since we, ourselves, were babies.”

If the final product is anything like the prototype I could see this product impacting the national birth rate as couples decide to get a Cool Baby instead of raising children. Then again, this baby might aid in the creation of more babies with all that drinkin’.

You might have noticed that this baby comes in only one color and facial expression. Phillon assures us that this is just the prototype and once he reaches his goal of 70K (only four more days to go!) there will be plenty of variety of babies to drink alcohol out of.

“Because of lack of resources in this first round, you’re going to be seeing a lot of sleeping, Caucasian babies. After this thing is funded and I get a factory re-tooled and working with me, I’ll have all different kinds of baby races, baby dispositions, baby sexual orientations, and baby IQ’s. Sky’s the limit. Anything you ever wanted out of your progeny. “ 

Also if you donate 8 thousand dollars to the Kickstarter campaign, Phillon will make you 10 Cool Babies… that look exactly like you.

Would you buy The Cool Baby to fill it with booze to drink discreetly in public? Or would you just hollow out your own plastic doll, and buy a baby carrier?

Source: Mashable

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney