Science Proves Sharks Are Totally Metal

Research studies at the University of Wisconsin once showed that plants seem to respond to the music of Mozart.  So do cows.  This makes perfect sense now that a documentary film crew from Discovery, in an effort to get footage of Great Whites, has demonstrated sharks love metal.  Nature makes sense, at least musically.

The film crew was looking for one particular Great White, a 16 foot long monster named Joan of Shark because comedy, but they had no luck.  As part of a last ditch effort, they submerged a speaker to see if some noise would attract her.  It didn’t, but it got two more to show up.  The music?  AC/DC.

The original story this appeared in excitedly explained how much sharks like death metal, and that may be true also, but if we may go off on a tangent for whatever septuagenarian reporter scribed that article in the first place, AC/DC is not death metal, you bizarrely out of touch with pop culture since the 1970s weirdo. 

Anyway, back to the story.  Turns out that while this is novel for film crews and scientists, it’s a fairly well known trick by tour guides and shark hunters.  You pop on some AC/DC or, presumably, any metal album, and stick it in the water and the sharks come running.  Not necessarily to headbang or kill someone in the mosh pit but because, they think anyway, the vibrations are not that different from those made by struggling fish.  So there’s a fun fact for you if you hate metal – it sounds like a dying fish to animals in the wild.  And if you like metal well, it sounds like a fish dying to animals out in the wild, so that’s awesome.

There are potential upsides for using metal to attract sharks as well - the first is that it's envinromentally friendly, or at least friendlier.  If we're at the point in life when we're complaining about ocean noise pollution then we need to find some new hobbies.  It's also cheaper in the long run than bait and probably less terrifying than trying to give a shark a half tuna or some chicken carcass that'll get him all bllood-frenzied up.  Also it ensures your boat trip is a party.  You really can't lose.