This Halloween, millions of people will dress up as their favorite icons from movies, television and music, with outlets ready for you to ante up your hard earned cash for those cool costumes. But do you know what else costs hard earned cash? Licensing and likeness rights! This year, we put together a best of list showing you the greatest costumes that were obviously in NO WAY based on certain movie, television or music icons.
"70's Funky Tux" doesn't look at all like something from Dumb & Dumber.
"I want to be Mary Poppins for Halloween! Shame they only have this English Nanny costume." The packaging even includes the smoky London chimneys with an ad for a "Chimney Sweep" costume for men. Rrrrright.
As per the costume's label, The "White Wizard" is made of flame resistant fabric. Not for when you're fighting a Balrog or anything, because this obviously isn't a Gandalf costume. Don't be silly.
"Groovy Man Kit" kinda looks like Austin Powers, doesn't it? Oh wait, that guy's not wearing Austin Powers-type glasses. Never mind.
What is a "Haunted House Mistress" exactly? Either way, she must be Elvira's sister who loves wigs that look like they've been kept in the glove box.
These guys go as far as having an Anthony Hopkins-esque illustration on their label. *Fava beans sold separately.
Leg Avenue has the female market cornered, but there's no mistaking this costume as Batman villain Poison Ivy, so why give it the most generic name possible with "Vicious Vixen"? At least give us some credit and call her "Plant Lady."
"Promoter Wig." C'mon, guys.
There are always a ton of Jason Voorhees costumes on the market, so why even make an off-brand version called "Goalie Mask?" And what's with the mouth hole that looks like an equal sign?
Apparently the makers of "Pop Star" thought they could fool the Michael Jackson estate by camouflaging the signature glove and jacket by using a super white guy with a bowl cut. And why is that guy doing the robot?
Finally (and regretfully).
Listen, Halloween isn't about putting on itchy plastic pants while wearing a stench-filled latex mask. This year, save your money and make your own costume. Then take the money you saved and buy booze for that house party you're going to throw and invite me to, because I don't have any plans for Halloween. Cheers.
- Todd Spence (follow me on the Twitter)