Norwegian Black Metal Musician Elected To Public Office Against His Will!

While some heavy metal bands like to just sing about Satan and murder, the black metal scene in Norway has a reputation for being the “real deal.” A series of church burnings and murders committed by black metal musicians in that country really upped the ante on what it means to be METAL.  

So it was good to see one nice seeming fellow from the Norwegian Black Metal community doing his civic duty by helping out his local town council election. Gylve “Fenriz” Nagell, of the black metal band Darkthrone placed himself on the ballot in Kolbotn so that they would have the minimum required number of entrants for town council seats. His campaign poster had the words “please don’t vote for me” and was a picture of him holding his pet cat named Peanut Butter.

The one thing Fenriz forgot is that this is Norway and he is a black metal legend. The Norwegians love black metal! So of course he was elected “against his will” to a position he will have to hold for four years.  This is why you should never do political favors for people.

The good news is that Fenriz was only elected to be a backup representative and the work of the people of Kolbotn, Norway will not interfere with the crushingly bleak and morbid growls emitting from the cesspool of unending existence that is DARKTHRONE.

Fenriz explains that he was just doing his hometown a favor but it got out of hand. Now he will just have to show up when, as he says the “usual people who go to the big meetings are sick or something. Then I have to go sit there and feel stupid among the straight people.”

We are told this is Darkthrone’s logo.

This last quote  has me thinking he might be a better politician than he lets on. He is already starting to sound like he wants to Make Norway Great Again:

“After the election, the boss called me and told me I was a representative. I wasn’t too pleased, and I’m not too pleased about it. It’s boring. There’s not a lot of money in that, either, I can tell you.”

Darkthrone is coming out with a new album in October. I think they already have some sick song titles like “Elected! Against! My Will!”

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney