Woman Made Her Man So Angry He Decided To Slice Off His Own Penis

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Look, we’ve all been there. Frustrated, angry, hurt, sad, you name it – a veritable plethora of negative emotions. That said, it’s incredibly unlikely that anyone within earshot of reading this has ever been so hurt by a chick that they chopped off their own wang.

It seems that the dude was in a major screaming match on the phone with his lady, and began slicing at his weiner with a razor. The footage above, though grainy, is incredibly disturbing (whoops, should have told you that before you clicked on it, eh?)

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The disturbed dude and his severed little soldier were escorted to a local hospital, where they were able to reattach “it.” Unfortunately the damage was too severe, so he was warned it might not properly work again, to which we can only say “DUH!”

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This story is genuinely horrifying on many levels, amongst them that he is described as a Turkish bagel seller. What the hell is a Turkish bagel seller? And why do the only ones we’ve ever heard of seem to chop off their dicks so often?

He of course isn’t the first dude to have a weiner-ectomy. This unlucky Chinese guy wanted to break up with his girl, but she took it hard. Hard, as in she took a cleaver and wacked him off (in the way you don’t want to be wacked off.)

This guy was bummed he couldn’t find a girl, so he did the only logical thing he could think of with his clearly very small brain.

Talk about mommy issues – this guy’s mom takes the cake and the penis.

Having a ten inch penis is probably a good thing for most – but not for this guy. Maybe if it had been shorter it wouldn’t have gotten the ultimate circumcision.