Guy Shoots Himself In The Dick By Bending Over Right After Holstering Gun In Pants

Hey man, if you’re going to play dumb games like putting a gun into your pants without flicking the safety on, then don’t be surprised when it inevitably goes off and shoots you in the dick. Case in point? This guy shoots himself in the dick right after holstering his gun in his pants:

I don’t like guns. I know that’s going to be an unpopular opinion here, but I’m not about them. I’m obviously down to shoot targets and other inanimate objects in a controlled environment because that’s fun as shit, but do we really need every Tom, Dick, and Mary to be packing heat while they’re strolling through the produce section on a Sunday morning? Most people are dumb. I wouldn’t trust the average person on the street to put their pants on correctly every morning, let alone operate a firearm without accidentally blasting me away in the face.

Guy shoots himself in the dick…and lives!

Which brings us to this guy, aka the poster child for gun control – are there loads of responsible gun owners? Of course. Is this guy one of them? Clearly not, though at least he did us all a favor by shooting himself in the dick so his chances of reproducing are slim. He’s currently in stable condition at the hospital, which is the only reason we’re allowed to make fun of Dickless Dan here. The moment he croaks I’ve gotta start lighting candles for a vigil to absolve myself of all the times I implied he was a butane-huffin’ moron in the past three paragraphs.

What a fuckin’ idiot.