Back when I was a kid I got into a fight on the playground with this beast of a girl named “Frankie.” Frankie was at least 5’2” and 120 lbs. at eight years old, making her the only spawn of Bigfoot to ever have attended public school. I don’t remember what we fought about, just that towards the end I pulled a clump of hair out of her head and kicked her in the face while she was down on the ground. The whole thing lasted about 10 seconds, yet hormone-imbalanced Frankie put up a better fight that Mr. Bitch here:
Mr. Bitch, of course, being the guy screaming “BITCH” in the other guy’s face. You’d assume the opposite, especially when the guy finally agrees that he’s a bitch – but then we get a quick lesson in “Don’t Talk Smack Unless You Can Back That Smack Up.” Mr. Bitch can’t handle SHIT. Did he think he’d get away without a single hit after calling the other guy a bitch so many times? Maybe he didn’t REALLY think he was a bitch and was just projecting. Or maybe he has Tourette’s and “You’re a BITCH” is the only phrase he can say? Either way, that “Come on motherfucker!” at the 40-second mark paired with Mr. Bitch hitting the ground has got to be the most satisfying sequence of events I’ve seen in all of 2017.
And not a single “whurrrlll stahhhh” was heard – the telltale signs of a perfect fight video.