Guy Gets Revenge On Cheating GF By Sleeping With Her Mom, Ouch!

If you’ve ever been cheated on before, you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out, thrown into a blender and pulsated on “high” for a couple hours straight. If you haven’t been cheated on before, congratulations! You must be super sexy and physically attractive to have your partner keep it in their pants for so long. Too bad the rest of us scrubs are poo-flinging trolls who repulse anyone and everyone around us:

“And that’s just me trying to be nice.”

And because statistics are never in your favor, at least a few of you will find out either today or tomorrow that your significant other has been cheating on you. Total bummer, I know — but think of it this way: every person out there who’s having a wonderful Valentine’s day will have something shitty happen to them later. Maybe they get hit by a bus or get diagnosed with ass cancer, who knows? The point is, if this week turns out to be complete garbage for you, it means you’ll probably win the lottery by July. Or bang Melania Trump. Or finally move out of your parents’ basement. Tomato toe-mah-toe, to each their own.

But we understand how July seems like a long ways away, so to curb that volcanic eruption of anger and angst that you felt boiling up inside upon finding all the nudes your girl has been sending to that “friendly” coworker of hers, here’s five stories where the cheater got the comeuppance of a lifetime, i.e.: get rocked bitches.

1. All He Wanted Was Some Orange Juice – via deathbydanny

This one is courtesy one of my closest friends. For reference I’ll be referring to him as “BP”. Slightly not safe for work, I suppose…I’d rather tag it and it not be, than not tag it and have someone’s boss walk up and read it 😀

Also, names and tiny details are changed or omitted, but the overall story is legit.

A few years ago, BP was dating this girl. He really dug her and did everything he could to please her. He was a reasonably funny dude, not bad looking,and he sung for a band, so he had his choice of a few ladies, but chose this one because he was really fond of her. Bent over backwards for her, so to speak.

After the relationship goes on for awhile, he finds out she’s been cheating on him. And it didn’t just start, she’s been cheating on him since they were courting. Apparently, his love for her wasn’t mutual, and she just refused to give up other guys, even after their own relationship seemed to get serious.

BP was furious, but he wasn’t the type to shit in her cereal, beat up the other guys, etc. But he wanted to get back at her somehow, some way.

A few days later, we’re all out drinking, hanging out, hitting the bar circuit, having a good time when who else but his ex’s mom actually shows up. Ex’s mom gets liquored up with us when BP actually saw his opportunity for revenge.

So he sweet talks the mother to the point where she ends up bringing him back home with her, and then…you guessed it. He had sex with his ex’s mother.

But the story gets better.

Post-coitus, he decides to get up and go to the kitchen to get a drink. Not putting anything on but a t-shirt, he walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge. At this point, his ex, who was out herself, comes in and runs into him, naked from the torso down, in her fridge. She screams at him, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Nonchalantly, he replies, “Getting some orange juice.”

So after he tells the girl he’s getting orange juice, she’s apparently just standing there dumbfounded. He walks back into her mom’s room, shuts and locks the door. Once she finally realizes the extent of just what’s going on, she starts pounding on the door, demanding an answer, or to yell at them, something.

The mom opens the door and says “Sweetheart, I love you, but I’m a grown woman. I can do what I choose. Go away for awhile.” Door slammed, relocked. Apparently, later, the mom and girl get into a huge fight, girl gets disgusted by mom’s “betrayal”, moves out, gets a job in fast food, and that’s pretty much it.

2. Cheat On Me? There Goes Your Job – via Army126

My ex-fiance and I, were together a good amount of time. I fell in love with her, put a ring on her finger and was completely loyal to her for the whole stretch. I’ll use J for short. J decided to tell me that she wasn’t happy, she needed a break. She was no longer in love with me. After some digging, I found out she was screwing around behind my back. When confronted, she deleted everything. Compared to her phone records, there was quite a bit missing. After betraying my trust and lying to me for 8 months straight, I felt it was necessary to even the playing field considering she wasn’t feeling the same hurt I was feeling.

Revenge: J worked in the car sales industry. During her time there, she would send me surveys to complete if she thought her customers would leave a bad one. Its an industry norm but never talked about. Negative surveys lead to a lower average and if the average drops below a certain point, she owes money. If it stays above, she gets money for every positive survey she has.

This is against her companys customer privacy policies. We would intentionally leave the house so my home IP wouldnt be attached. I was getting credit card offers in my email for these customers.

On top of the survey fiasco, she was taking certification tests for people at her workplace for cash and who knows what else.

The worst part was the guy she was screwing around with was a co-worker. She originally masked her texts with him by saying she was working a deal.

My next step here was to write this all up, send it to the manufacturer, her employers Corporate office and the trainer for the region. I also included some media sites, made it so they would feel more inclined to take action.

The next day I was contacted by her corporate office and asked to call in to provide more detail. I did and was assured that this matter will be investigated swiftly. I was able to provide the emails to Corporate and thats what ultimately sealed the coffin.

During this ordeal, I wasnt quiet about it, I told J what I was doing. She thought the managers had her back and she was untouchable.

A day passes, she leaves for work, an hour later she returns. Screaming and crying about how she got suspended. The following day, I get a text from J saying she had been fired.

Not only did she lose her job, she lost her career. She will never step back into a car sales position for the rest of her life.

3. The Birthday Of A Lifetime – via Itsme03

Gather round boy and girls because its time for the story of my cheating ex-wife and how I fucked her. Now bare with me as this is a bit of a long one but fuck it. So I had a feeling she was cheating as she set off a lot of red flags. Constantly laughing and smiling when texting, saying it was just her mother when I asked. Needing to stay late every night after work. When I’d call in her co-workers said she left hours ago. When I asked her what was going on she’d laugh it off and say it was just something they did to each other at the office all the time. The last straw to where I knew something was definitely up was when she went out “to get milk” at 11:30 at night and didn’t come back till 2 in the morning. Now if there is any words of wisdom I can pass on to others in all my years of experience, its if you think your significant other is cheating, hire a fucking private investigator. They’re goddamn good at what they do and they will get some evidence that really helps in the later divorce.

Fast track to her birthday, several months down the road. Now I know what you’re thinking, why the hell did I wait months before I confronted her and did it really need to be on her birthday? The answer to the first question is I wanted as much evidence as possible to hand off to my lawyer as well as make arrangements to find a new place to live, etc. Answer to your second question is of course it had to be on her birthday. You see after asking her what she wanted to do on her birthday this year she was rather insisted on me going out of town with my friends as she just had to work anyways and didn’t want to be reminded she was ageing.

So I know something is up and after finding a bottle of champagne and two glasses hidden in my closest something in my snaps. So I do what any sensible man would have done. I leave and go to my friends house pretending like I am going out of town. While there I call up her mother, father, sister and several of her friends. I tell them how I want to give her a big surprise by sneaking into her room with party streamers, kazoos and a big cake with candles. Sounds fun right?! Well boy was it.

Its 8:30 in the morning and I have everyone met just outside our apartment. We all pile in the elevator (about 8 of us in total), her mother holding the cake and me reminding everyone to be as quiet as they can be. My put my key in and unlock the door, we all sneak in and make our way down the hall towards the bedroom. Each hold a kazoo and Mom holding the cake grinning from ear to ear.

Well as I throw open the door and we all yell surprise. But the surprise was on us and there was my wife, bent over in doggy style position with her lover staring at us wide eyed mid thrust. Mom drops the cake, sister screams, father begins to shout. I pretend like I’m horrified to which her friends try to push everyone out while yelling at her. Wife, excuse me, ex-wife is sobbing and screaming how could I while the lover is desperately trying to put his pants on while running out of the place. Needless to say, it was one of the best birthday presents I have ever given.

4. Let’s Get The Kids Involved – via yourdaughterhatesyou

I was married for 12 years. My wife was a wonderful person. We had many laughs together and many great times as well. She also happened to be full of shit.

Between the years of 2004-2007, she had multiple affairs including:

·       My daughters 1st grade teacher

·       The security guard in the building where she worked

·       The son of one of her friends

This went on for 3 years behind my back. I had no clue she was a cheating bitch. During the summer of 2007 I discovered the affairs. I confronted her with it and she didn’t deny it. But instead of, you know, taking responsibility for it she told me she was running away to be with some dude she met on the internet. I thought she was joking and didn’t take it seriously. The next morning she was gone. Neither me nor my daughter saw her for a year and a half. It hurt her a lot because she really looked up to her mom. Finally I got sick of hoping she would come back and I filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. She eventually came back and tried to act like nothing happened. Didn’t matter because I got full custody. She also tried to sue me for alimony but that failed miserably as well.

The revenge? Letting her fuck herself over. She lost all of her friends, is in a shit ton of debt and her parents hate her. She works as a waitress at a restaurant and is living with random people off of CL. But what I know hurts her the most is my daughter, who’s now 17, wants absolutely nothing to do with her. She got her visitation rights terminated by the courts, so she can’t see her either.

The most Pro revenge anyone could take is letting someone fuck themselves over. It’s priceless.

5. Don’t Fuck With An Army Man – via Frizzmaster

Well, this story starts out like quite a few others have. I, being in the U.S. Army, become attracted to a woman whom I end up marrying. At first, she’s all I could ever ask for in a woman. Sweet, caring, one hell of a cuddler. Doesn’t really like video games like I do, but makes an effort to get into them so we can spend time together doing something we both enjoy.

Let’s call her Thundercunt, or TC for short, for reasons you will soon know.

I met TC through one of the other soldiers I worked with, who we will call BB (Battle Buddy), since he was not at fault in this. It was in the middle of the week, and I had just gotten a work order finished up and was taking a quick break for a drink of water. I heard BB asking a few other soldiers if they were open for a date for this coming weekend. Now, I knew from a few other friends that BB was straight, so I was curious as to why he was asking.

Long story short, BB had a female friend who was looking for a date for a movie that coming weekend. I offered to go with his friend (BIG mistake), and she and I hit it off rather well, and continued to see each other. Months pass, it hasn’t been enough time for me to consider marriage yet, but she has some spontaneous ailments (seizues, and they were legit) spring up out of nowhere. Since these only seemed to happen in her sleep, and my command wouldn’t let me stay off-post with her without being married…

LIGHTBULB

We got a courtroom wedding 2 weeks later. The added bonus? Not only could I stay with her while she slept to be ready in case of another episode, but my Tricare would fully cover her medical costs. I was happy, she was happy, I got to tell my command “Now you can’t stop me from staying with her.”, and we all lived happily ever after.

Except we didn’t. Things went well for a while, as I described at the beginning of the post, but after a bit, I started noticing things. Things like her needing to take her mother to the doctor’s office quite frequently (her mother was sickly, so I didn’t think much of it at first), or needing to head to the Walmart 1 town over because the one in our town didn’t have what she needed in stock.

Things like the car I bought and let her use seen parked in a lot next to several different trailer parks in a month.

Well, as luck would have it, right as I started to get suspicious, I came down on orders to PCS to Korea. So, sidelining the investigation until I was able to continue, I packed, kissed my wife goodbye, and let the Army send me where they wanted me. I spent a year in Korea, then came down on orders for Texas. I went there. It was there that I found out exactly what was going on, courtesy of her mom, brother, and her aunt and uncle.

This woman was sleeping with 60 (not even kidding in the slightest) different men, most of them soldiers. Her excuse to her family was “Frizzmaster is gay, and doesn’t want to come out. So, he’s pointing out the men I can sleep with, since he knows that they’re clean.”

So, basically, this woman is using me as a paycheck and meal ticket, and screwing everything with a pulse that happens to be male. The icing on the cake is that 2 weeks after I get the good news, she calls me and confesses to cheating on me….once. The only reason she confessed? She was pregnant, there was no way I could be the father, given that I was in a different state at the time….and the father was African American.

I am very much not African American, having been called “neon white” on more than one occasion due to my Irish ancestry. So, there was no possible way this child would look like me, at all. So, my wife felt the need to break the news to me before she had the baby, because she could no longer hide it.

Well, things happened, I went back home (without her knowing) and removed my belongings from the house I bought, to keep her from selling them once she realized what I was about to do, and started divorce proceedings.

This is revenge #1. I saw her BOYFRIEND (not the baby’s father, new guy entirely) driving my car. So, I enlisted the help of her aunt and uncle to get my car back. They pulled up behind him in a parking lot, got out and talked to him normally, at which time I waked up from the other side of the parking lot. Her uncle asked to see the keys, and upon receiving them, began taking the car key off of the ring, and waved me forward.

I walked up, took the car key from him, looked at the guy, and said “Hi, my name is Frizzmaster, and this is my car. I’m taking it now.” I waved him over to the sidewalk, removed everything from the car that didn’t have my name on it, left the items with him, then got in my car and drove off.

I found out later that day that he had packed everything and left her. Apparently, he had been living in my house, eating my food, sleeping in my bed, and WEARING MY CLOTHES. Plus, she had been using the money I sent her every month to pay for his court costs and child support costs.

Well, months went by, our court date came up, and my lawyer recommended that I file for sole use of the vehicle and the property, since it was obvious that she had committed adultery and didn’t have a leg to stand on. We go to court, she counter-files for the exact same, and since she refused to release the results of a paternity test, I get stonewalled. The exact words used by the judge were “I’m sorry, but without proof of paternity of the child, I cannot, in good conscience, approve either of these motions.

So, we set a new date for a private hearing with the judge, and we wait. Nearly 3 months go by, and the court date was finally near. I walked into the courthouse, met up with my lawyer (who had a demonic glint in his eye at the time, and I was about to find out why), went into the courtroom, and waited. 20 minutes later, she walked in, shot me a dirty look (which I did my best to ignore), and sat down.

The judge came in 5 minutes later, the court was called to order, and the divorce trial commenced. Here, I found out just what had given my lawyer the twinkle in his eye earlier on. He proceeded to ask TC a series of questions, including:

“Is my client the father of your child?”

“When was the child conceived?”

“Where was my client during the time at which your child was conceived?”

“Do you know who the father of your child is?”

“Have you received child support from the father of your child?”

Basically, he questioned her into a legal corner in which she either had to answer truthfully, or lie and suffer the legal ramifications of perjury in the face of easily provable evidence. She answered truthfully (lucky for her), and the court case continued. She presented her argument, littered with dirt she was trying to throw on me, insults to my person, questions about my sexual orientation, and claims that I was having a relationship with her 18 year old cousin.

I, falling back on my military training, simply sat up straight, folded my hands in front of me on the table, and stared at a spot on the wall slightly above the judges’ left shoulder. I answered every question asked of me, offered no personal opinions, threw no dirt, and refused to sink to her level and question her sexuality. Subsequently, she had a more and more confused look on her face as I refrained from bad-mouthing her like she was doing me, and the divorce trial went by rather fast.

At the conclusion of the trial, the judge looked over the paperwork submitted one last time, then looked to the both of us. “Are there any closing remarks or claims that need to be made?” TC made one last parting swipe about me currently living with her aunt and uncle (i had rented my own apartment months ago, after finishing my military time and going back home), and I merely shook my head and resumed staring at the wall. The judge took one last look over the papers, set them down, and spoke the greatest words I have ever heard in my life.

“Well, looking over the evidence and testimonies presented, there really is only one decision I can come to. Mr. Frizzmaster, I am approving your motions for exclusive use of the vehicle and property, upon undeniable evidence of adultery. Mrs. Frizzmaster, the only one of your motions I am granting today is your request for a no-contact order, and that is more for Mr. Frizzmaster’s benefit than your own. You seemed very combative and willing to cause him legal damage that he was not due, and your repeated attempts to over-talk me while I was reviewing the paperwork did not speak well of you. You no longer have a claim to either the property or the vehicle, and will not contact Mr. Frizzmaster unless it is to have him clarify which items do not belong to you.”

TC had the audacity to work up a sniffle and ask the judge “B..b.but where do I go? What do I do for a place to live?”

The judge looked back at her and replied “Well, Mrs. Frizzmaster, you have 30 days to figure that out, after which you will not set foot on that property again, or else you will be held in contempt of court.”