Every town has that one guy. You know the guy I’m talking about; that one guy who won’t stop having sex with inanimate objects in public. What, just my town?
That's the look of love. Ah, to be in love again.
Edwin Tobergta of Hamilton Ohio has a thing banging for pool rafts so much so they he just got caught for the fourth time. Which is understandable; blow them up full of air and they swell up nicely for you.
Awww yeah. (NSFW image!)
This time Edwin was caught boinking a pool raft by the side of the road. His earlier lustful pool raft encounters stemmed from a 2011 incident where he was caught making love to his neighbor’s pool raft in an alley. He went to jail for this man on raft love, where I assume - he became the pool raft if you know what I mean. Then, in 2013 Edwin was caught having sex with his neighbor’s same pool raft yet again. –Wait time out.
HIS NEIGHBOR KEPT THE POOL RAFT AFTER EDWIN HAD SEX WITH IT? Do pool rafts cost that much that you would use the same one after the guy pictured above pleasured himself with it?! Someone buy these people a pool raft, my god; let’s start a fund or something! Before he started his relationship with his neighbors pool raft, in 2002 he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin. Or maybe that was just the pool raft’s Halloween costume and he was taking it to a costume party as a date?
Rafty is so sexy when she plays dress up.
There is a lesson to be learned here guys: if you are going to get hot and heavy with a pool raft, make sure it’s YOUR pool raft. Even if you don’t own a pool, but your sexual desires involve pool rafts, maybe it’s a good time to go out and BUY YOUR OWN POOL RAFT. It may be an unconventional relationship, but at least you are not being accused of being down with OPP (yeah you know me!) And Edwin is not alone! There are lots of people out there who like to boink inanimate objects.
The Guy Who Banged A Couch
Wisconsin man, Gerald Streator was caught humping a couch on the side of the road, getting some sweet pushin’ on that cushin.’
The Guy Who Banged Picnic Table
Love is no picnic for an Ohio man, Art Price Jr. who was caught having sex outside with his picnic table. Neighbors complained and he was arrested.
The Guy Who Banged a Land Rover
A British man, Daniel Cooper was caught sexually rubbing himself on a Land Rover while totally drunk. We’ve all regretted drunk hookups but this guy wins the race.
This Dumb Tortoise Banging A Croc
Follow Phil Haney @PhilHaney