Like Grilled Cheese? Get Ready For Sex!

In the grand history of sandwiches, few are more simple or delicious than a grilled cheese.  The difference between two pieces of bread with cheese on them and what happens to it when you actually apply heat is staggering.  A properly made grilled cheese is a thing of culinary beauty.  And maybe, just maybe, your grilled cheese preferences offer a window into your soul.

Dating website decided to poll its members on their grilled cheese habits because dating websites employ social media and marketing people who literally have no other ideas about how to get attention than to ask you questions about sandwiches.  If that sounds a little foolish just remember this – it works.  It did work!  Here I am writing about sandwiches and here you are reading it to see if your lunch is going to get you laid.

According to survey results, 73% of those who dig grilled cheese have sex at least once a month while only 63% of those who don’t like grilled cheese are getting busy that often.  Could it really be the cheese?  What’s the secret?  The numbers hold up as frequency increases to the point where 32% of grilled cheese eaters are having sex 6 times a month compared to 27% of those who don’t like it. 

Those who enjoy the sticky, melty cheese are also more generous in their personal lives; giving money or food to those in need, and they’re also more likely to travel.  Basically there’s something ever so slightly wrong with you if you don’t like grilled cheese.  And it’s not a stunning malfunction, it’s not a hunchback, a third leg, a deranged psychopathic kill obsession or a strange oniony smell that comes from your armpits if you work out too much, but something is there.  Like when you look at Gary Busey you just get that feeling that something dangerous could happen at any moment, even if you can’t explain why. 

Sadly the site doesn’t really delve much deeper into the psychology of melted cheese or how it can make your life better after this, opting instead to find out what kind of cheese everyone likes on their sandwich and what kind of bred everyone likes, as though any of that mattered,  You just learned that eating a sandwich has inexplicably raised your chances of having sex about the average of those who don’t have that sandwich love.  This is on par with discovering a super power.  Not a super good one, but not a terrible one either.  It needs more research.  Do people need to see you eating the sandwich?    Do you need to eat them regularly or is just liking them enough to affect your personality and the way in which others perceive you sexually?       

Word has it that cheese is a bit of an aphrodisiac though and contains phenylethylamine ,which is supposed to be what makes chocolate sexy time fun, only in some cheese there’s ten times as much, especially in young, soft cheese like goat cheese.  So try a goat cheese grill cheese and get your nasty on, very shaky science supports it working out well for you!