Greatest Conspiracy Ever: The Beatles Never Existed

If you’re like me, you love a good conspiracy theory and this one is total Lunacy in The Sky With Diamonds. The website The Beatles Never Existed has a theory that the most famous rock band ever, wasn’t exactly what it claims to be. This is Tower 7 meets the Moon Landing Hoax, but less believable.  

Still not dead.

The site claims that the people the world came to know and love as John, Paul, George and Ringo weren’t four individuals, but rather a group of people playing a “persona" that different body doubles inhabited throughout the career of “The Beatles.” Why is this more believable than four guys writing some catchy songs and what would the point be? Yeah, don’t think too hard over this one.. just let it be.

So this is why the guitar was gently weeping.

The Beatles Truthers say that they have compiled evidence to show that dozens of young men really made up the Beatles and in fact they can’t be sure that “John Lennon” and “Paul McCartney” ever really existed in the first place- or if their identities were completely manufactured. (Apparently the body doubles are still working as the old guy who still sells out baseball stadiums and shows up at the Olympics to sing All You Need Is Love, has been keeping the hoax going all these years.) On who the body doubles really are the website says:

“How they did this is not completely known. We have words such as "simulacra", "cloning", "synthetic humans", "robotoids", and so on, but exactly what was happening here is still a bit of a mystery. What we can clearly see, though, is they are too similar each time to be explainable as human doubles (even with surgery because that doesn't account for the other nuances), yet too different to be the exact same person. Human replication of whatever form usually yields a 95-97% identical copy, and that is what we are seeing here.”

So when they sang "I Am The Walrus" - walrus was code for human robotoid - clone. Cool.

This makes me feel the same way I did the first time I watched "Loose Change."

What is their evidence? An analysis of photographs they say show obvious discrepancies in four physical characteristics including changing height, eyebrows, ears and teeth. Strap on your tinfoil helmet and jump in the yellow submarine because after reading this website your about to go helter skelter, Charles Manson style. At least Manson just thought The Beatles were inspiring him to kill, like a normal maniac.

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: Dangerous Minds