Greater Church Of Lucifer Opens In Texas, Angers Locals Who Came To Protest

This past Saturday as children and adults around the country dressed up as ghosts and goblins for Halloween, the small town of Old Town Spring, Texas was fighting what some feel may be actual demons and devils. Either Slayer came to town or the first Greater Church of Lucifer opened its doors for its inaugural meeting.

This is pretty metal.

While in America you are allowed to worship however you please as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others, the good people of Old Town Spring were not going to let The Dark Lord be idolized on their watch.

“Jacob No” president of The Greater Church of Lucifer. His name backwards means “On Bocaj”

With a name like “The Greater Church of Lucifer” the religious sect was sure to turn some heads, just hopefully not all the way around. Don’t worry though, according to the church the name “Lucifer” is not Satanic and has nothing to do with worshipping Satan.  Hmm, that argument sounds familiar, should go over well in Texas.

Also: The First Church Of Hitler Has Nothing To Do with Nazis, you dimwit.

The president of the church who goes by “Jacob No” which is not his real name since he has been receiving threats, explains that they used the Latin translation of Lucifer which means “morning star” or “bearer of light.” The group is more focused on New Age spiritualism and self-improvement. I guess if you consider burning in a lake of fire for eternity “self-improvement” then they nailed it!

Texas welcomed the church with open -nope.

I’m just yanking their wallet chains. At the first meeting they served donuts and cookies to church members, and that sounds way less Satanic than you would hope. However, locals and outside Christian groups were quick to demonize the perceived devil worshipers and dozens showed up to protest amongst a heavy police presence. Armed with wooden crosses, holy water, rosary beads and apparently a Staples credit card for lots of instore sign printing services, the protest was mainly peaceful. That was until, according to the Houston Press;

“…a few moments before dark when members from two groups of protesters— one Catholic organization from Pennsylvania, and the other consisting of some sort of doomsday-preachers from Las Vegas— began arguing with each other over who’s sect of Christianity was correctly following Jesus.” 

Glad to see “Carl” from The Walking Dead was on hand to keep things in order.

Now why would these peaceful protesters turn toward their fellow man? Who could possibly pit brother against brother, standing side by side to fight the powers of darkness?  Who could it be…

The next Church of Lucifer meeting is on November 13th. Bring cookies!

Follow Phil Haney on Twitter @PhilHaney

Source: Houston Press